Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Wonderful World of Odd Read Online Free PDF

behind her was grabbing her. Though unrelated to her epilepsy, the creepy, unexpected discovery is potentially important to the study and treatment of mental illness: “Our findings may be a step toward understanding the psychiatric manifestations such as paranoia, persecution,” Blanke writes, “and alien control.”
    A mole can dig 300 feet of tunnel in one night.
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GETTING THE STAR TREATMENT
    One of the nice things about being a famous act like the Beach Boys or Prince is that you get to ask for whatever you want in your contract…and concert promoters have to give it to you. Here’s what these folks asked for:
    Little Richard: “Artist retains the right to distribute souvenir books to the public free of charge. The book is the summary of Little Richard’s moral beliefs.”
    The Dixie Chicks: “Fan base is approximately 70 percent female. Therefore the possibility of overcrowded female restrooms exist. Remedy this by turning around some of the men’s restroom facilities in the main concourse into women’s facilities.”
    Prince: “All items in this dressing room must be covered by clear plastic wrap until uncovered by artist.”
    The Beach Boys: “No form of media advertising shall contain the word ‘oldies’ in conjunction with artist’s name or logo.”
    Foo Fighters: “Any strange or lingering odors should be dealt with and covered up wherever and whenever possible.”
    The town of Ding Dong, Texas, is located in Bell County.

AN “E” FOR EFFORT
    One of our favorite topics is dumb crooks. Here are a few people who tried extra hard to commit crimes…and still failed.
    P LAY A HAPPY SONG
    Clifton Lovell is the owner of a musical instrument store called Guitars and Cadillacs in DeQueen, Arkansas. One day in 2006 he saw a man leaving the store with a strange guitar-shaped shape in his pants. Lovell followed 29-year-old Morgan Conaster out of the store and asked him what he had in his pants. “Nothing,” said Conaster…but he eventually confessed, opened his jacket, and pulled a solidbody electric guitar from his pantleg. He was arrested.
SAAB STORY
    Joshua E. Reed of Rutland, New York, was arrested on theft charges in late 2006, and as a condition of his bail had to report to the local sheriff’s office once a day. One day in November, he suddenly realized he didn’t have a ride to the sheriff’s office and he was going to be late for his meeting…so he stole a car. Rutland police spotted the green 1994 Saab, pulled Reed over, and arrested him. “He has a once-daily reporting requirement and, as ridiculous as it sounds, he was concerned about reporting on time,” Reed’s lawyer said. “He just wasn’t thinking.” Reed was thrown back in jail and now faces up to 12 years in prison.
DON’T DRINK AND EAT
    Police in Kemerovo, Russia, pulled a man over in 2006 on suspicion of drunk driving when they saw his car weaving down the road. The man, who was not identified, admitted that he’d drunk half a quart of pure grain alcohol. When the police told him they were going to confiscate his car, the man decided to try to thwart them…by popping his keys in his mouth and trying to swallow them. One of the officers tried to retrieve the keys, fearing that the driver would choke, but the driver bit him. The police were finally able to get the keys out of the man’s mouth (after putting gloves on), and arrested him for drunk driving…and disobeying police orders.
    Among ancient Incas, a couple was considered officially wed when they exchanged sandals.
WHEN THE DUMB TURN PRO
    A 20-year-old man in a Springfield, Massachusetts, courtroom was refused his request to be released without bail after the judge looked at the identification form the man had filled out. Under occupation he had written “Drug Dealer.”
CLAUS, SANTA (D-NORTH POLE)
    In 2004, 22-year-old Chad Staton was arrested after he attempted to register more than 100 false names into the Defiance County, Ohio, voter