Tricks Read Online Free PDF Page A

Well, what mother
    *
    with half a pair of balls wouldn't say the same thing? (Not counting
    my mother!) And I've got a full pair.
    *
    I swear I can see smoke billowing from her ears. Who made you so stinking mean? She spits the s's.
    *
    What a fucking stupid question!
    Isn't she expecting my answer?
    "Who do you fricking think?"
    *
    She wants to say more, but at this
    exact moment, Gram comes into the room, carrying an armful
    *
    of detergenty-smelling laundry.
    Her head swivels toward us.
    Uh. Am I interrupting something?
    *
    Iris shakes her head. Nothing
    important. I need a smoke.
    She rolls off the bed. And a beer.
    61
    I Must Look
    As pissed as I feel. Without a word, Gram lays the folded
    clothes on the other bed.
    *
    She turns toward me slowly, and for maybe the hundredth time,
    I wonder what has carved
    *
    such deep wrinkles into her face.
    She's only, like, fifty-three or so, and I'm pretty sure that,
    *
    unlike Iris, Gram used to be a knockout. You okay?
    Her voice is pillow soft.
    *
    My eyes sting suddenly. It
    should be Iris--Mom--
    asking if I'm okay. "No."
    *
    Gram comes over, sits on the edge of the bed. Up
    close, her face looks like
    *
    earthquake-splintered stone.
    Worn, but not worn out.
    I wish I could change things
    62
    for you. And for her too.
    Her childhood was no
    walk in the park either. Not
    *
    easy, being an army brat. And
    touching down in Barstow
    wasn't exactly a reward for years
    *
    spent hauling around the U.S.
    Then, when her dad got killed...
    well, she went starved dog wild.
    *
    Between Fort Irwin, Edwards, and the Marine Corps bases, there were plenty of men willing
    *
    to be stand-ins for her fallen
    father. Only it wasn't exactly
    daughterly love they were after.
    63
    Guess That Explains
    How she got knocked up with me when she was only sixteen. Just my age.
    *
    And maybe it explains why she never outgrew teendom.
    Still, "Why are you taking her
    *
    side? She pisses you off too.
    Not like we can't hear you
    yell at each other, you know."
    *
    Gram nods. I know. I'm sorry.
    It's not such a big place.
    Barely enough room to fit
    *
    you all in. But we'll get by.
    Yes, I get mad at Iris. She can
    be downright infuriating. Always
    *
    was a selfish girl. Never one to think about others, or try to spare their feelings. Not
    *
    mother material, not at all. Not
    fair to any of you to pop you
    out, then leave you to mostly fend
    64
    for yourselves. Even coyotes and jackals do better by their pups.
    All I'm asking is for her to get
    *
    a job. Something legit. Pay taxes, stop whoring arou--She skids to a stop, has said too much.
    *
    It's okay. I know what she does.
    Hate what she does. She'll never
    stop. Not for you. Not for any of us."
    65
    In the Next Room
    Sandy starts up a fuss. Short
    nap. He'll be a little turdcake
    tonight. Gram and I move at
    *
    the same time. Iris will let him
    squish around in his wet Pull-Up until someone else changes it. I stop
    *
    Gram with a touch of my hand.
    "I'll get him. You do enough."
    I kiss her cheek gently before
    *
    sliding off the bed, onto the chipped
    linoleum floor. Nothing special about Gram's house. Except Gram.
    *
    One second, she says, giving me a fierce hug. I know things haven't been easy for you kids. A regular
    *
    parade of Iris's men, most of 'em
    bad ones, in and out of your lives.
    Not even knowing your daddies.
    *
    Moving around, cycling through homes. No homes at all sometimes.
    And not because the army was giving
    66
    anyone orders. I wish I'd known
    sooner, but Iris didn't talk to me at all for years. Anger just eats
    *
    a person up inside, and I swear
    that girl was born angry. Anyway, that ain't no here nor there.
    *
    But now you know where I live.
    Whatever happens, I want you to remember this is always your home.
    *
    Love, unlike any I've ever known, floods through me. I kiss Gram's
    cheek. "I will." I want to say more,
    *
    but I'm afraid if I do I'll jinx
    myself, and the other kids too.
    Speaking of them, there's Sandy
    *
    again,