Trail of Broken Wings Read Online Free PDF

arms around her small frame.
    No,
Marin agrees,
he does not like to suffer.
    Marin’s breaths become shallow, suddenly harder to draw than moments before. The memories from childhood swim together, as her fingers begin to tingle, each one starting to go numb. Everyone’s voices are far away, though they stand right next to her. She shakes her head, trying to clear the cobwebs that suddenly fill it. Closing her eyes, she counts to ten quietly, hoping the exercise will lead her backto normality. When she reopens them, she sees no one has noticed her distress. They’re still talking among themselves, their attention on Brent. Lowering her head, she stares at her shoes. The ground beneath her begins to rotate. It is a panic attack, she knows. Though it’s been years since her last one, they are always the same. Her heart rate accelerates as her body shuts down. But she refuses it. She will not succumb to its power.
    She pulls out her phone, focusing on the only lifeline she knows. Fifty new messages fill her mailbox. Work demanding her attention is her only reprieve from the father who lies dying. She is grateful for the distraction. “Mummy,” she says. Her breath begins to even out, but her heart still beats as if she ran a marathon. Almost an hour has passed since she entered the hospital room. Three conference calls have been scheduled since her arrival. Additional homework she created for Gia waits in the car. Math problems guaranteed to keep her in honors next year. “We need to leave. It is late.” She motions for Gia and Raj to follow her out.
    “We have just arrived.” Ranee grasps Gia’s hand, pulling her in close. “Let us all stay a bit longer.”
    “Marin, it is still early.” Raj has not risen from his seat. He assures Ranee with a smile. “We will sit a while longer, Mummy.”
    “No, we will not.” Marin swallows a yell. Everyone starts to stare at her but their faces are unclear. Anger at their defiance mixes with the past and creeps into her being. “Raj, I envy your free time, but I don’t have the same luxury. I have a lot of work to do and Gia has math problems waiting.”
    “It’s Saturday,” Gia says. She looks to Ranee for support. “Sonya masi just came,” she says, giving Sonya the traditional name for a mother’s sister. “I want to hear more stories.”
    “You heard plenty of stories last night.” Marin cautions herself to slow down, but there is no stopping.
    David shifts uncomfortably, caught in the middle of the family drama Marin is creating. A voice whispers inside her head to stop, to let it be. A few more minutes will not hurt. But there is another voice—this one much louder—demanding that her authority not be questioned. Her control will not be compromised. They believe her weak but she is not. She never will be. “Raj, get up now. Gia, let’s go.”
    She walks out, unable to face what she created. Her heels snap against the hospital floor as she rushes down the hall toward the elevators. Pushing the down button three times, she watches impatiently as the numbers slowly light up with the elevator’s descent. The steel doors finally open, revealing an empty car. Stepping in, she waits for them to shut. Only then does she lay her head against the mirrored wall, taking deep breaths. A caricature of herself stares back, watching her breakdown with dispassion.
    “I am fine,” she whispers. Rubbing her hands over her face, she expects to wipe away tears. But her face is dry. There have not been tears since she was young. Straightening her spine, she pulls her hair back. As she gathers the loose tendrils, she puts her emotions in check. Within minutes she is back to how she feels safest. In complete control.
    Smoothing the creases in her shirt, she catches her eye in the mirrored doors, and nods once to herself in approval. Pulling out her cell phone, she flips through the messages. Work started for her at five a.m. and usually ended after midnight. When she became