Toward the Sea of Freedom Read Online Free PDF Page A

steward when the Wetherbys weren’t there, and he would have enjoyed feeding Kathleen the extra pastries and cakes. She wouldn’t take anything directly from him, though her mother joyfully accepted his boon and fairly distributed the treats to Kathleen’s siblings. Kathleen could not be getting fat from that.
    “It’s my love making you more beautiful,” asserted Michael when they met at the river to take a little walk on one of the few dry Sundays.
    The countryside was covered in an early frost, the meadow seeming to wear a wedding dress, and the cold pressed through Kathleen’s thin shoes. It would have been much too cold to lie down in the reeds. Outside, it was only tolerable when one was moving, so Michael and Kathleen strode quickly—they wished to put the village behind them as quickly as possible. On days like this, the gossip hounds curled up behind stoves, but one never knew if Father O’Brien might pass by on his way to a sick or dying parishioner.
    Only when the young couple was a fair distance from the village did Kathleen dare to snuggle into Michael’s arms. His caresses kept her warm. His hands moved beneath her threadbare shawl and her thin dress, and he stroked her shoulders and breasts.
    “You’re like a flower that blooms even in winter,” he whispered, “because your gardener flatters you, tends to you, and pines for your blossom.”
    Kathleen bit her lip. “Do you really think I, I’m,” she stammered, “taking on a more womanly form? I mean . . .”
    “Your breasts seem to be growing at my touch,” Michael laughed. “God knows they were always lovely and firm, but now—do you feel how my hands are no longer big enough to hold them?”
    Michael caressed her breasts, and his hands wandered deeper inside her dress. “Everything about you is warm and wonderful. I long to curl up beside you and—”
    Kathleen pushed him away. “Michael,” she said in a concerned tone. “I, I don’t know much about it, but I have seen the girls who marry and then . . . and then are in a family way. And I’ve seen my mother when she’s carrying another baby. That’s why, Michael, I, as wonderful as your love is, still, still—if a girl gains weight with nothing to eat, it often means she’s got something growing in her belly.”
    Kathleen did not dare look at him. Michael let go of her, taken aback.
    “You mean you might be pregnant?” he asked, disbelieving. “But, but how? It’s too soon, Kathleen! I haven’t put together the money for America yet.”
    Kathleen exhaled audibly. “The baby won’t care a fig for that, Michael Drury! And I’m sure it wouldn’t want to enter this world aboard a coffin ship. We’ll have to marry, Michael. Very soon. Here.”
    “But Kathleen! Here, now? Where would we live? What will your father say? He’s certainly not going to give his blessing.”
    “He’s going to have to,” Kathleen insisted bitterly. “Or live with the shame. Of course, I could just give myself to Trevallion quickly and say it’s his. But we don’t have that much time.”
    Michael roared. “That idiot touching you? Raising my child? Over my dead body! Listen, Kathleen, aren’t there any other options?”
    Kathleen glared at him. “You’re not thinking of killing this child in me, Michael Drury.”
    Michael shook his head ruefully. “No. But it, it could be that you’re wrong.”
    Kathleen shrugged. “That could be. I just don’t believe it. I’ve made excuses to myself until today, Michael, but now that you’ve noticed it too . . . and it’s going quickly. Quicker than for most girls. Soon everyone will see.”
    Michael took a few steps away from her, confused, unsure. He was quiet, which scared Kathleen, since it was so unusual for him.
    “Aren’t you happy at all, Michael?” she asked quietly. “Don’t you want a baby? I mean, true, it’s too soon and a sin and a scandal, and everyone will flap their mouths about it. But it is . . . we can finally