To Have and to Kill Read Online Free PDF Page A

Terri’s first urge was to add more red, but she held back.
    “Cathy,” she called. “When you get a minute, come over here, will you?”
    Terri waited while her dear friend and assistant finished ringing up a customer’s order and then came over to the window.
    “My feet are killing me.” Cathy winced. “What’s up?”
    “I want your opinion. What do you think of this pink?”
    “For what?”
    “Roses for the Cunningham baby’s christening.”
    “I thought they had a boy.”
    “No, a girl this time.”
    Cathy peered into the bowl of icing. “Perfect,” she said.
    “Not too pale?” asked Terri.
    “Uh-uh.” Cathy looked at Terri. “You know, I don’t get it. You’ve been asking me a lot lately what I think of your colors. You’ve been coming up with just the right shades for years and you sure don’t need my advice. What’s going on?”
    B efore Terri could answer, customers came into the bakery. While Cathy waited on them, Terri got the time she needed to collect her thoughts. It had gotten to the point where she wasn’t going to be able to hide it anymore.
    Normally, she and Cathy shared pretty much everything of any importance. Terri had been feeling uncomfortable because she’d been holding back on something so major in her life, but she just hadn’t wanted to talk about it. She had needed to get used to the idea first.
    Terri had kept the secret during all the stages she’d worked through. First, she had denied that she even had a problem, and she waited for it to pass. After she knew for certain it wasn’t going to go away, the fear set in—and then the anger.
    Why is this happening to me?
    Finally, Terri had come to accept it and knew that if she wanted her beloved business to survive, she was going to have to make some changes. She had a game plan and Cathy was going to have to play a very important role in carrying it out. The time had come to share what was happening.
    When the customers had gone, Terri walked behind the counter, pulled Cathy to the side, and began to speak in a low voice.
    “My pinpoint vision is failing. So is my depth perception, not to mention that colors are fading for me.”
    Cathy listened, slack-jawed, as Terri explained.
    “It’s macular degeneration.”
    “You’re going blind?” Cathy blurted out.
    “No, at least I sure hope not. It’s very rare that it will cause total blindness. But it really affects quality of life, because it causes blurring right in the middle of my vision. It’s like there’s this blockage in the center of everything I look at. I can see around the edges though.”
    “How long has this been happening?”
    “Actually, it hit one eye over a year ago, but the good eye let me function pretty much normally. Now, it’s in both eyes.”
    “But I don’t understand,” said Cathy. “You’ve been doing everything you’ve always done, baking, mixing icing, decorating. How can you do that if you can’t see well?”
    Terri shrugged. “As far as the baking goes, I know that part pretty much by heart. I don’t have to be able to see to know how much flour or how many eggs go into a cake. I’ve adapted some things I do, like dipping into the flour and sugar with my measuring cup instead of pouring from the bag, because I can’t judge the distance and I miss most of the time. And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there are raised marks now on the oven dials that let me know what temperature I’m setting.”
    “I did,” said Cathy, “but I thought it was just a convenience thing so you wouldn’t have to pay attention when you set it.”
    Terri looked down at the bowl of pink icing. “But it’s the decorating that’s really giving me problems. Colors have become much less bright and intense. In fact, that’s one of the first things I noticed. I found myself putting more and more coloring in the frosting to bring it up to the shade I wanted. It wasn’t until longtime customers commented that I was taking a new, more