To Catch a Falling Star Read Online Free PDF

my best to come out. You know Ray. He likes everything planned way ahead.”
    “Yeah, I hope you can make it.”
    “Me too.”
    “Listen, I gotta go. I’m dead tired.”
    “Talk to you tomorrow. Good night, Tarry, love ya.”
    “Bye, Nillie. Love you too.”
    I switch off the phone and stare at the coin burning the palm of my hand. I study the wings. It’s stupid, but I want to call Mel, just to hear her melodic voice. It’s soothing. It really is.
    I slide the coin back inside my wallet. I know it’s lame as hell, but I want to believe the golden piece connects me to a lifeline. There is not much more keeping me afloat. I force my eyes closed. Yeah, I’m at the very edge of the end.
     

 

     
     

     
     
    I SNAP MY eyes open. Five thirty. My half hour begins now. I lean toward the bedside table and rummage through the drawer. I find the handmade leather clutch holding the letters Tim wrote me starting when we were five. Clasping the clutch, I bring it to my chest. Pain slithers through my heart and sorrow grips my soul, squeezing it tight. Pain or void usually fills my lonely moments. I prefer pain. It makes me feel alive.
    Tears burn my eyes. How can I be forgetting his face? I can’t lose him all over again. But every day our memories become hazier. My trembling fingers unravel the lace and I pull out one of the letters he wrote me. I can’t betray Tim by forgetting him, letting him go. It will be as if he never existed. Worse, his sacrifice will be mute, in vain.
    Tim had the most clear and charming smile. I’ll never like a smile as much as I loved his. Why then did my insides melt when Tarry smiled at Ella?
    It’s been a few days since I saw Tarry, but his hollowed eyes chase me.
    I wipe away my tears, smooth the crumpled paper, and reread the letter:
     
    My beloved wife,
    I write this as I watch you sleep. Beside the fact that your snores take away the perfection of the sight, I could spend the rest of my life just watching your chest going up and down. (Kidding, other than the most wonderful sound of your sighing, not a peep leaves your pretty pouted lips.) But I can’t stay and watch you. Reality is, today I head back to the war zone where the memory of your lovely face is my safe haven.
    First, let me apologize for not being here when you wake up. Honestly, I know it’s selfish of me, but I don’t want you to see me hopping on that bus.
    Remember last night when I held you in my arms as we made love? That’s the memory I want you to carry for the next months. I know the golden depth of your eyes will sustain me on the parched lands in the war zone.
    You know I don’t like to share stories of war with you or anybody. I honestly think what happens there should stay there. Well, another point for me to remain silent about is that most stories are not as heroic as some of us make it to be. Most importantly, sweetheart, I don’t want you to think of me as a wimp. However, today I felt an urge to share one of my stories with you.
    Last night, after we made love, and I heard you silently wiping away your tears, it broke a piece of me. Your pain tugged deep inside my heart. I wish I never had to leave your side again. Please forgive me for putting you through this ordeal. I promise this will be my last time away from you. A year, Mel, that’s all we have to endure before our forever.
    Anyway going back to the dorky story. It all happened during my first assignment on a remote village on the mountains of Afghanistan. It was so cold there it could freeze your soul. But that’s not what bothered me. In fact, I barely noticed the frigid temperature; the lack of your warmth was what froze my heart. Instead of the brave soldier defending his country, I became a zombie.
    We were stationed in a village for almost a week before enemy forces attacked us. Then, it began.
    I killed, Mel. I killed the sons of many mothers who waited for them to return home. I cried for hours, Mel. I cried while I killed more of