Ties That Bind Read Online Free PDF Page A

one. I thought all along it was just a ruse to cover up her un-Christian ways, and better yet, give her an alibi for her whereabouts during the early years. Everything was a mystery with that woman. How the heck did Lyle ever get in her claws? I wondered that more than anything else.
     
    ***
     
    The big cumbersome box we called a computer helped me in some ways, but, for the most part, I had to depend on snail mail to obtain my information. I would request copies of censuses, school records – anything to aid me in my search. I’d wait so long for a reply; I sometimes forgot what I’d requested.
    It would be years before technology improved with high-speed Internet. I appreciated when it popped on the screen. It helped me look for things faster, but I didn’t always get the answer I was looking for.
    Years later, when Carole and her family moved out of state, she and I made use of chatting online. It was nice to be able to talk to her in real time and it saved money on long distance. I was thankful for the advances not only in computer technology but as the years went on, I was also pleased with the advances in medical technology.
     
    ***
     
    I recall the day I told the kids. It wasn’t planned, it just presented itself. Carole and I had had a particularly stressful day.
    It was like any other morning, with the kids getting ready for school. Carole was taking too long like any typical teenager. Looking back, I wondered if she actually was taking too long, or I was just impatient. I called up to her from downstairs telling her she needed to get a move on. I had prepared breakfast and it was getting cold. She didn’t respond to my yelling, so I tried one more time. By this time, I was angry. I stormed up the stairs to find her mimicking me in her mirror and the anger overcame me. I don’t even remember doing it, I reached out and slapped her across the face. She turned to me, touching the red, warm spot from my slap.
    “I hate you! You’re crazy!” Carole yelled as she ran down the stairs.
    “Don’t forget your lunch,” I called out as if nothing had happened.
    I stood in the doorway of her room for a moment, my breathing labored, and my heart beating a mile a minute. What had I just done?
    All of a sudden a distant memory came flooding into my mind. My own mother had done a similar thing to me, but when I was much younger than Carole.
    When the kids came home from school, they walked into a house filled with the smell of warm chocolate chip cookies just out of the oven. This is how I would ask for forgiveness. I guess it worked. No one made mention of my hysterical outburst or rotten behavior regarding this instance, or any other.
    Later that evening, over a dinner of favorites, Charles and I told the kids about me. Peter was not particularly moved by the discussion. But Carole and Charlie were all ears; especially Carole. I think it eased their minds somewhat, but I also believe it caused some anxiety. They realized I was dealing with heavy-duty stuff and this caused them to always wonder when the other shoe would drop.
    “That’s kind of cool, Mom. You may have brothers and sisters you didn’t even know about,” Carole boasted.
    “I don’t know about that, Carole. I do have a sister. Her name is Teresa,” I said not really wanting to share that part.
    “Aunt Teresa,” Carole remarked.
    I nodded. “Listen. It’s not going to be anything glorious here. We’re not going to reunite with lost family, and pick up where we left off,” I explained.
    “Mom, you don’t know how it will turn out. It’s been so long,” Carole said.
    “I can tell you that, there is no love lost here, guys. That’s the truth. I’m just telling you about my adoption and my life before California…in case anything comes up about it,” I said matter of factly.
    I also told them the story of dropping out of school and enrolling in secretarial school. I was nervous about their reaction, but the reality was, I was the one