Tideline Read Online Free PDF Page A

disappear, then let the mobile drop into the depths.
    When I go back to Jez’s room with the coffee and bagels, he’s standing in his jeans but no shirt, rubbing his hair dry with a towel. There’s a scent of the lemongrass soap I
keep in the shower room. He looks out from under the towel at the breakfast tray. I’ve got coffee in the Italian espresso thing I use for people who appreciate coffee, toast made with organic
bread, bagels, and my marmalade in a dish.
    ‘Sit down. You need to eat,’ I tell him. He slumps back on the bed. His shoulders are broad but the bones are still delicate. He’s got a lot of filling out to do. Where his
stomach is bent, a tiny shallow line runs across it.
    He puts two halves of bagel together and takes a huge bite. Leans back against the pillows and slurps at the coffee, then finishes the bagel in another couple of mouthfuls. It’s warm in
the room with the sun coming in from the high windows in the book-lined walls. Pleasant. Better than pleasant. Luxurious. He’s fallen on his feet with me.
    ‘You don’t have to go, you know,’ I say. ‘I’m not doing anything today. You’re welcome to stay. You can play the guitar, chill out, and I can book you a
ticket on the Eurostar later. But of course it’s up to you.’
    He looks up at me, weighing his options.
    ‘I do feel a bit rough to travel but aren’t I in your way?’
    I smile. ‘Not at all.’
    ‘Alicia’ll be mad at me for standing her up yesterday. And I’d better let Mum know where I am. I said I’d be back today.’
    ‘What a considerate boy you are!’ I say.
    I am indeed surprised. I used to have to beg Kit at this age to let me know where she was and she never did. If I tried to phone her, her mobile was always switched off or out of battery. When I
complained that she could have contacted me she’d say she had no credit.
    ‘I’ll go and get my phone,’ he says.
    It’s too late to stop him, and I don’t want to frighten him. I have no choice but to watch him leave the music room and head downstairs. I’m taking a massive risk in order to
win his trust. There’s nothing to prevent him walking right out of my house and away from me forever. I tell myself to treat it as a kind of test so I can be certain where I stand with him. I
need to know he wants to be here, as much as I want him to stay.
    Those few minutes are torture. I can barely move. I’m aware of every sound downstairs as he searches for his phone. I’ll know if he goes for the kitchen door, leaves without saying
goodbye. I’ll shoot down there, ask him to help me shift some furniture in here before he goes, and being such a conscientious boy he’ll be unable to refuse. I cannot lose him.
    I lean on the door, immobilized as another memory looms into focus. Another departure. We were in a garage. There was the smell of petrol, oil and adult sweat. Someone tossed a suitcase into the
boot. Seb’s face is crystal clear, he might as well be with me now. A smirk upon his lips. A look I knew so well, disdain for authority, veiled with smug charm.
    ‘Time to go. Get in the car, Seb.’
    He laughed at my rage as he climbed into the passenger seat. Then he looked up at me, his shrug telling me he wouldn’t go if he didn’t have to.
    ‘Don’t then, Seb.’ I said. ‘Don’t go. Don’t let them make you.’
    The thunk of car doors. I grabbed the handle, but it was already locked and Seb was fastening his seat belt. And when he next looked up I could see he was already changing, already resigned, and
even, though I couldn’t bear to admit it, a little excited about what lay ahead.
    ‘No Seb! Don’t give in!’
    ‘My God, calm her down will you. She’s going to hurt herself or someone else. Hold onto her. We need to go.’
    I knew my kicking and screaming wouldn’t work, but I’d run out of other options. An arm gripped mine, hauled me away from the car. Then the engine started and they reversed fast out
of the garage. Seb didn’t