Tiberius Read Online Free PDF Page B

it's not right. . ."
    "It's not my fault if I fancy you and not my husband. Is it now?"
    She stroked her thighs and smiled.
    "Cat," I said; but didn't move.
    "Old bear. Are you a virgin, old bear?"
    I'm sure I blushed.
    "As a matter of fact, no," I said.
    "Oh good. The Hyacinth can't do it," she said, "not with me anyway. I think he needs people to tell him how pretty he is, and I won't do that. Do you know where he is tonight, actually . . . ?"
    I shook my head. I couldn't take my eyes off her legs and the movement of her hands . . .
    "He's having supper with Maecenas," she said.
    "Won't the conversation be rather over his head?" I asked, for Augustus' Etruscan minister was celebrated as the patron of poets and artists.
    Julia giggled.
    "Maecenas gives other kinds of parties, you know. With dancers and painted chorus-boys. That's the kind he invites Marcellus to. He's been doing it for years and nobody dares tell my father, not even his paid spies."
    She sat up.
    "Look at me. I'm a beautiful girl, the daughter of the most powerful man in the world, and the husband my father has forced on me would rather have any Phrygian boy who wiggles his bum at him."
    She threw herself down sobbing. I watched her shoulders rise and fall, and felt my mouth dry. I touched cracked lips with my tongue. I moved to comfort her. In a trice her arms were round my neck, her tongue seeking mine. I tasted tears, wine and warm, eager, scented flesh; she was soft as rose petals and firm as a galloping horse. She cried aloud with joy-filled pain, and I sank into unimaginable delight. . .
    "Old bear, old bear, hairy beast. . ."
    "Lascivious cat . . ."
    It was like that then. The night dies over the ocean. The moon swells behind the mountains of Asia which roll back, wave upon wave, to the confines of empire. I pour myself more wine and gulp it, seeking fierce oblivion that will not come.
    3
    T he following morning my mother summoned me to her apartments. She gave me what Drusus and I called her Medusa look.
    "You're a fool," she said, "and you look awful . . ." "I'm afraid I drank too much wine last night. . ." "That's not all you did last night. I suppose you're too old to whip . . ."
    "Yes," I said, "that must be a matter of regret for you, but I am indeed too old to whip."
    "Then I shall have to employ my tongue. I didn't ask you to sit down."
    "No, you didn't. Nevertheless . . ."
    "Don't be insolent. Don't add insolence to your other folly."
    "If I knew what you were talking about . . ."
    "You know very well . . . And don't smile. You have put yourself, and everything I have worked for on your behalf, at risk, for a little honeypot with the morals of an alley-cat . . ."
    "Ah," I said, "I should have realised, Mother, that you would have an informer in Julia's household . . ."
    "You should indeed. Shall I tell you something which you should never forget? Success in life and politics, which for people like us amounts to much the same thing, depends on information. Naturally, therefore, one takes steps to obtain it. I hadn't thought you could be such a fool."
    I picked up an apple and bit into it. I knew that a show of unconcern would screw Livia to still more intense fury, but I had long ago found that apparent indifference was my surest weapon against her. Or if not a weapon, at least a shield.
    She said, "Tiberius, I wonder if you realise what the Princeps would do if he found out what I know . . . ?"
    It irritated me when she referred to him in that way.
    I said, "He ought to be grateful to me for making his daughter happy. It's more, it seems, than his beloved Marcellus has been able to do . . ."
    "Do I care if she is happy?"
    "Do you care if anyone is happy, Mother?"
    "Don't be foolish. You know that my constant concern is for your future, and that of Drusus. But, unlike you, I know the world. You can't be blamed for your ignorance. You haven't seen the best part of a generation destroyed as I have. Therefore you don't realise how necessary it is