Three Ways to Die Read Online Free PDF Page B

cuts, bruises or abrasions. All that's left are corn-nuts."
    "What corn nuts?"
    Erno wrapped a knuckle against the glass. "Those corn nuts. Nobody wants to eat corn nuts. You cleaned the machine out. You ravaged it. If you gave a damn about any of us down here, you'd have the courtesy to leave at least one bag of chips."
    "Does that mean I can have my change back?"
    Erno angrily jammed coins into the slot. "She had sex before she died."
    Bud immediately looked at the nearest emergency exit. "She was raped?"
    "I didn't say that." Erno punched a button on the machine. "There was no physical signs of force, but I got enough seminal fluid for a DNA match if you think you'll ever need it."
    Bud wondered if this was information the Chief really needed to know, because if he did know, then he probably would want the poor guy hunted down, and he'd want Bud to do it. That wouldn't do anybody any good, particularly Bud, who knew he'd never be able to find the guy.
    All of this ran through Bud's mind in the time it took for Erno's bag of corn nuts to drop from the shelf into the slot. Bud was working out a way to ask Erno to do him a big favor, and omit the semen findings from his report, when Ermo spoke up.
    "Whoever he is, he never has to worry about child support."
    "What do you mean?"
    Erno shook his little snack. "There are more corn nuts in this bag than sperm in his, if you catch my meaning."
    Bud did and immediately wished he didn't. "Can you tell me the time of death?"
    "No."
    "Can't you take a guess?"
    Erno tore open the bag of nuts and spilled a few into his hand. "A few months ago, a couple of hikers in Spain found a guy frozen in a block of ice. They called the police. Turns out the guy had been missing for a while. A couple thousand years, in fact. Maybe it was more like a hundred thousand. I don't know. The point is, they wouldn't have known how long ago he froze to death if wasn't for certain evolutionary changes, and the clothes and tools they found near him. Since we haven't evolved much since Lissy Masters died, and we had a pretty warm summer, I'd say she died sometime this winter."
    Erno popped the nuts in his mouth and crunched on them, using the loud crack they made to punctuate his point.
    Bud thought for a long moment and decided to ask Erno to do him a big favor before sending the autopsy to the Chief.
    * * * * * *
    It took the security guards fifteen minutes to respond to the break-in, hardly the instant, armed response promised on the sign in the front lawn. But Bud Flanek was thankful for the extra time, it gave him a chance to find the freezer in the basement and a comfortable chair to sit in.
    The two rent-a-cops appeared in the open door way at the top of the stairs striking dramatic poses they learned from TV. One stretched his arm straight out, twisting his wrist so his gun was aimed sideways, a grip that looked cool, but was about as useful as trying to shoot the weapon with his foot. The other security guard held his gun straight up, right in front of his face, a stance that might be effective if his target happened to be levitating directly over his head.
    "You guys ever fire those guns, you're gonna hurt yourselves worse than the person you're trying to shoot, so why don't you put them away?" Bud sat at the bottom of the stairs in a folding chair, one arm resting on top of the padlocked freezer, the other holding up his badge to Crockett and Tubbs.
    "Bud Flanek, Homicide."
    "Where's the perp?" Tubbs asked, reluctantly holstering his gun.
    "In the time it took you to get here, he could almost be at the airport. In another five minutes, he could be on a plane to Jakarta," Bud said. "But as luck would have it, the perpetrator is right here."
    "He's in the freezer?" Crockett asked.
    "No," Bud replied. "He's sitting in this chair, putting his badge back in his pocket."
    "You broke into the house?" Tubbs asked. It was more of a statement than a question. Bud nodded. "I assume you've got a search warrant