about church.
“How long has it been since you’ve seen Danny?” Belinda asked.
“Hmm. I wouldn’t know. A while. You know I only see you on a regular
basis at church, and I have to snatch a look as best I can without getting
caught or making people talk.”
Belinda fought to ignore the smile she’d always adored. It was hard
enough to tell him what she had to next without having to do so with a melting
heart.
“Martin, he looks so much like you at that age it’s scary.” She squeezed
his hand. “Danny’s your son. Yours and mine.”
Belinda was surprised by the change of expression that grew slowly on
Martin’s face. Still a smile but one that might appear on an indulgent father
who is arguing with his son and the son in a flash of insight finally
understands what the father is trying to tell him.
“I was expecting you to be shocked. Mad. Betrayed. Anything but . . . but
this. How long have you known and how did you find out?”
Martin stroked Belinda’s hands. “It took me a long time, but I finally
figured out why you married Robert so suddenly and without telling me. When I
heard you’d had a son, it never occurred to me that he might be mine. Yours and
mine, that is. Then, one day at the Academy, my mind wandered, just daydreaming
about nothing in particular, and the whole thing made sense, or so it seemed. Professor
Oglethorpe actually stopped class and asked if I were ill. Said he’d never seen
anyone turn green. Anyway, my pride finally allowed me to understand you would
never have done what you did without a very good reason. Why in the hell didn’t
I see that to begin with? As well as we knew each other.”
“Because you were hurt.”
“Yes, but I should have known it would take a damn good reason for you to
marry Robert so quickly, and what else could it have been? What an idiot I
was.”
“It would have destroyed you,” Belinda said softly.
“So you let it destroy you instead. Was that right? I should have run
home the minute I heard you got married.”
“And done what? And it didn’t destroy me because I did have you.”
Martin looked puzzled.
“Danny.”
Martin lowered his eyes and nodded. “Has it . . . has it taken anything
away from you? I mean, You ?”
“I don’t know the answer to that, Martin, except I deeply regret losing a
lifetime together. What would I be were I carefree, knowing you were coming
through the door at any minute, every day, instead of daydreaming of our life
together? I guess I would answer that I would be full of joy, complete. I
wouldn’t need anything else. Danny has been my joy, but different. Not my
friend, partner . . .” A tear slid down her cheek. . . . “Lover.”
She looked up, and Martin saw in her eyes the face of a thousand
thousand lost lonely days. Gone.
“Have you ever felt, and I mean in a weird sort of way, that I was right
here with you? Because I find myself carrying on conversations with you almost
every day. You’ve never been out of my thoughts for very long. Never for more
than an hour. Frankly, Belinda, I’ve never made love to Angela. It’s always you
I see.”
Belinda raised her face and kissed him softly on the corner of his lips.
“I know. Same with me and Robert. And I must admit feeling guilty about it
because he adored me so. I didn’t want a child with Robert, although I know
that’s brutally selfish and unfair, and Robert seemed to be content. If he ever
suspected Danny wasn’t his, he never let on. Or maybe he was just smart enough
to not say.”
Belinda suddenly chuckled then laughed and covered her face with her
hands. “Robert must have thought I was the easiest girl in Benton when we
started dating.”
“I wondered how you pulled that off.”
“Well, Robert had always flirted with me, and I did like him. He was a
nice guy and devilishly handsome back then.”
“Yeah, I remember him. I remember he never had any trouble getting a date
but he didn’t stay with anyone very long,”
Under the Cover of the Moon (Cobblestone)