Thinking About It Only Makes It Worse Read Online Free PDF

wrong. Only that sort of apology meant anything. They didn’t want to humiliate me – they wanted me to learn something.
    The same cannot be said for Newt Gingrich. If he were acting honourably in this case, then an extorted apology, one that he’d demanded, whether it came from De Niro or Obama, would have no value for him. If he or his wife were really hurt, or if he felt genuine concern that the joke, as he complained, “divides the country”, then he should say only that. And if, in consequence, Robert De Niro felt sorry and said so, then it would mean something. Or if, bizarre though it would be, Barack Obama felt guilty that this epoch-endangering quip had been made at an event in aid of his cause and was moved to express contrition at having been so thoughtless as to allow an Oscar-winning actor to make an unvetted remark at a dinner, then that would have some power to soothe poor Newt’s bruised soul.
    But that’s not the situation. Clearly Gingrich isn’t hurt. Nor is he worried that a gag at a fundraiser will have any negative impact on American racial harmony. It would take a biggerfool than him to think any such thing. He merely sees this as an opportunity to humiliate an opponent and boost his fading chances of the Republican nomination in the process. That’s how politics is played these days, both in Britain and America.
    Such vindictiveness offends me and I demand an apology. Also, as a pale person, I consider Gingrich’s phrase “beyond the pale” to be deeply racist. It’s inexcusable, in fact. The least Newt could do is get down on his knees and pray for forgiveness – preferably to Allah. And I want Robert De Niro to say sorry too, just for being in the same sentence. And I want an autograph. Anything less would be disgraceful. I mean it. I’m as genuinely upset as Newt.
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    The police have been going through a rough patch. First they were implicated in the phone-hacking scandal – though they managed to escape most of the blame when we collectively came to the surprising conclusion that it was more serious for tabloid journalists to neglect the public interest than officers of the crown. But while they deflected a lot of that responsibility, their attempts to deflect it over Hillsborough have been catastrophically counterproductive. And while senior officers have been caught dining with Murdochs or maligning the dead, officers on the ground have been getting shot and called plebs. Or not called plebs, depending on whom you believe.
    Meanwhile, the Police Federation’s attempts to extract retribution for the disputed p-word, in the form of Andrew Mitchell’s sacking, have been roundly slagged off by former Labour minister Chris Mullin, who described the organisation as “a bully”, “a bunch of headbangers” and “a mighty vested interest that has seen off just about all attempts to reform the least reformed part of the public service”. He didn’t call themplebs, though. Then again, some police have taken to wearing “PC Pleb and Proud” sweatshirts, so perhaps the insult has lost its sting? Maybe they’ll soon be sporting “Sergeant Headbanger Will See You Now” riot shields or stab vests with the slogan “You Needn’t Try Stabbing
This
Mighty Vested Interest”.
    Another accessory which the Police Federation advocates is the Taser. It has written to the prime minister asking for the number of Tasers to be trebled so that every frontline officer can have one. “They need to have the proper equipment to do the job,” says Paul Davis, secretary of the Federation’s operational policing subcommittee. And officers certainly seem to be getting a lot of use out of them. While, in London, Andrew Mitchell was pondering whether he could continue as Chief Whip, or would be reduced to private self-flagellation, a policeman in Lancashire Tasered a 61-year-old blind man as part of an operation to check whether his white stick was a samurai sword. It wasn’t.
    Of course, anyone might