undressing me and tucking me into the plush bed.He puts on a movie, undresses, and climbs in after bringing me a bottled water from the mini-bar.
“Feel better?” he asks, watching me take a sip.
I nod.“I’m sorry we couldn’t…you know.‘Tear up the hotel room.’”
He laughs as I quote his words from earlier, before Jane’s wedding.“It’s totally fine.I just want to make sure you’re all right.”
“I will be.”
He smiles again, turning his attention to the movie.It’s late, almost three a.m., and he falls asleep quickly.I’m still wide-awake when the credits start rolling.My heartbeat won’t slow down, a combination of exhaustion, guilt, and every other emotion Silas has brought to the surface with his surprise return, if only for a night.
You shouldn’t have slept with him, pure and simple , one part of my brain chastises. He’s brought you nothing but pain.
But he didn’t mean to , the other part reasons. He did it for his daughter.That means something.That’s everything.
Plenty of people get their kids surgeries without resorting to theft and framing.And he didn’t have to frame you.He could have gotten a normal job and saved for it.
If it were my kid…what would I have done?
I shake my head at myself and turn off the lamp.The television sends a gray glow across Alex, his breathing soft and even.I study his face carefully, as though somehow, it’ll help my conflicted feelings.All it does is make me feel guiltier.He’s been so good to me, through everything, and here he is, sleeping peacefully.He has no idea what I’ve just done.
My fingertips are cold as I reach under the blanket, into my panties.Silas’s ejaculate is still dripping out of me, and I wonder how much, if any, of Alex’s is still there.
I wonder where Silas is right now: still in the mansion, planning his trace-free escape?Picking up his daughter, so they can travel at night with fewer risks of getting caught?
In a seedy motel right now, jerking off and thinking of me?
The thought of this—imagining his ropey muscles slick from the shower, his rugged hands stroking his cock, rock-hard, until he finally explodes and comes all over himself, his milk hot and thick, as he quietly moans my name—makes me hungry for him again, almost insatiable.I quickly rub my clit and bring myself to orgasm, sharp and fast, and a small cry of pleasure escapes my lips.My hips thrust upwards, involuntarily; the bedsprings squeak and the mattress shakes a little as my legs tremble.
“What’s wrong?”Alex lifts his head at my outburst, rubbing his face with the back of his hand.“Are you okay?”
I nod.My pussy’s still pulsing, muscles tightened and head swimming from the sudden euphoria.“I, uh…just had a foot cramp.Those stupid heels all day.”
Alex is half-asleep, nodding.He mumbles something, and only the upward inflection at the end tells me it’s a question of some kind.
“I’m fine,” I tell him.“Go back to sleep.”
He face-plants into his pillow, probably unaware of the conversation at all.
Great , I think, now I feel guilty just masturbating.
Well, you should.You’re doing it while you think about your ex masturbating.That’s not what people in healthy relationships do.
If my two selves were real, separate people, I’d slap them both right now.All I want, at least for tonight, is to sleep.No guilt, no rationalization,
Missy Tippens, Jean C. Gordon, Patricia Johns