daughter?
“I’ll toast some bread for you, then.”
“Okay.”
Okay? Oh my. You used to fight me on this constantly. The first three things I would suggest, you’d wrinkle your little freckled nose and tell me no. Now, all you say is okay and I don’t know. Please, just fight me on this.
I bit my lip and looked at her. Her eyes were so empty, so emotionless. She tried to smile, but it came off awkward.
Give it time, Emma. Give her time. It’ll come back. She’ll come back eventually.
I put the bread in the toaster and found some cheese in the fridge. I poured her a glass of juice and put it in front of her.
“Thanks,” she said, and drank.
I grabbed the photo album and sat next to her. She looked at it, and I could tell it scared her to have to go through it again.
“Just a few pictures,” I said. “We need to do a little every day. School is starting soon, and…well, I don’t know what’s going to happen, to be honest, but you need to at least know your family.”
“I think I know them by now,” she said.
“Their names. Yes. You know all their names, but you don’t really know them, do you?”
You have no idea how much they love you, do you? Don’t you even remember their love for you? Don’t you remember how much you love us?
I grabbed her hand in mine. I could tell she was a little anxious. It was hard on her every time. But it had to be done. I opened the book and let her look at pictures of herself, then with me, then with her father and Victor. She forced a smile and went through them, nodding.
“I know these people. Dad has even been here to visit me, remember? I know all I need to know about them.”
The bread popped up in the toaster and I went to get it. I put a piece of cheese on top of it and put it on the table in front of Maya. She grabbed it and ate.
Without even a wrinkle of the nose. You hate that kind of cheese, Maya. You don’t like it, and now you’re eating it like you’ve been eating it all of your life. How, Maya? How am I going to make you remember who you are?
I stood by the sink and looked out the window while Maya ate and drank. I pressed back my tears, as I had done so many mornings before this. I wanted to cry, I wanted to yell. Hell, I wanted to scream at my daughter to make her remember. All the other mornings, I had done the dishes in silence, praying quietly that this would be the day when Maya came back to me. But, this day, I was done being quiet. I felt the frustration plant itself throughout my body, and I opened my mouth to just let it out.
But someone beat me to it.
8
July 2014
“ W HAT WAS THAT?” Maya asked, for the first time showing some sort of emotion: fear.
Victor didn’t even look up from his cereal.
“I don’t know,” I said, startled. “It sounded like it came from next door.” I looked out the window and saw the Curtain Company’s red van parked outside in the driveway. The street was empty. Everything seemed quiet.
“I don’t know,” I repeated. “Maybe someone was hurt in there. Maybe the curtain guy fell off his ladder or something.”
I bit my lip, wondering if I should go in there and check to see if they were all right. But, then again, he probably wasn’t alone in there. The nice couple had to be there.
I returned to my dishes with a strange unsettled feeling. The scream didn’t sound like someone getting hurt. It sounded like someone was afraid. Not just afraid. More like terrified. I turned on the faucet and started washing the pan from last night’s dinner. I couldn’t escape this strange feeling that something was terribly wrong. I looked out the window again, but the street remained calm.
I turned my head to look at my kids. Should I just go and check on the neighbors? I would want to know that my neighbors were looking out for me, wouldn’t I?
But, I didn’t want to come off like a nosy neighbor either.
“Only bad witches are ugly.”
“What was that, Victor?” I asked. I looked at my