The Would-Begetter Read Online Free PDF

wife’s family suffer from achondroplasia (that’s hereditary dwarfism, you know).’
    ‘Were they much in demand during the pantomime season? Sorry, sorry… er… right, well my brother is a congenital idiot, or so I’m always telling him. Look, I’m sorry Hector, but this is ridiculous. It isn’t getting us anywhere. If we must go on playing silly games, I’d rather do word-association. Better idea – why don’t you take your mind off disease and destiny, by having a nice sticky pud from the trolley over there? I’ll just have coffee, thanks.’
    Jess took off her boots and curled up in one of Caroline’s plush sofas.
    ‘Glass of wine, a G & T or what?’ Caroline asked her.
    ‘I don’t suppose you’ve got any cider?’
    ‘Sorry.’
    ‘White wine would be lovely then.’
    ‘So,’ Caroline said, bringing it over, ‘tell me all about what’s been happening to you since school. The five years between us seemed a chasm then didn’t they? They hardly register at all now.’ She sat back opposite Jess, smiling, sipping a gin and tonic.
    ‘You’re still streets ahead of me,’ Jess said, looking round the room. ‘This flat’s marvellous, and I love that painting.’
    ‘It’s one I bought from Vivian, a friend of mine who runs a gallery. You must meet him one day, you’d like him. You’re not married then?’
    ‘No,’ Jess blushed.
    ‘No children?’
    ‘God, no!’
    ‘Very wise. I have absolutely no intention of breeding just yet either – maybe not ever.’
    Jess thought, well, that wasn’t exactly what I… I mean, chance would be a fine thing… ‘Oh,’ she said.
    ‘It always infuriates me that people with families who are replicating their own narcissistic, imperfect, egocentric genes down the millennia (and vastly overpopulating the world in the process) then have the nerve to complain that the voluntarily childless are
selfish!’
Caroline said.
    Jess laughed. I needn’t have been concerned about Caroline and Hector, she thought amusedly; they won’t last a moment. They’re totally incompatible!
    ‘Talking about selfish genes reminds me,’ Caroline went on, ‘your Hector Mudgeley seems fascinated by heredity?’
    ‘Oh?’ Jess was startled by the coincidence of thoughts.
    ‘Yes, we’ve been out together a bit, as I expect you know. Actually, I’m feeling rather guilty about him. I think I went a little too far last time.’
    ‘In what way?’
    ‘Teasing him.’
    ‘Oh Hector’s got a very good sense of humour.’
    ‘Yes, he’s an amusing chap,’ Caroline agreed.
    There was a pause, during which Jess searched for something intelligent to say. ‘Tell me about Vivian’s gallery,’ she said. ‘I could do with some education in modern art.’
    The rest of the evening went well. Jess was flattered that Caroline would bother with someone like her, who had previously been so insignificant in her life. It’s probably because she’s newly back in the area, Jess thought, and finds she doesn’t know anyone now. Well that’s fine by me. They compared notes about the progress of fellow pupils and members of staff, and laughed about trivial things which had once loomed large. At eleven thirty she got reluctantly to her feet and said she really ought to be going. ‘I expect you’ll be busy tomorrow?’
    ‘As ever,’ Caroline agreed, escorting her to the front door, ‘but thanks so much for coming. It’s been really lovely to see you. We must make a regular thing of it.’
    ‘I’d like that,’ Jess said, bending down and thrusting her left foot back into its boot.
    ‘Oh, and Jess?’
    ‘Mmmmm?’
    ‘I have to ask… you’re not by any chance smitten with Hector yourself?’
    ‘Oh…’ Jess wobbled and clutched at the hall table to steady herself. She pressed her right foot firmly down into the second boot. Then she stood up straight again, pink in the face and smiled shyly at Caroline. ‘Heavens… no, of course not. Perish the thought!’
    ‘Oh good,’ Caroline