The Wordsmiths and the Warguild Read Online Free PDF Page B

shouted Togura. "I want to marry a woman, not a
walking slime pit."
            "You don't have
much option," said the baron.
            "If I have to, I'll
go down to the coast and sell myself to the first slaver passing through. I'd
rather - "
            "This nonsense has
gone far enough," said the baron, cutting him off. "Open this door
properly and come out. We're going home. Now!"
            "No."
            "No?"
            "No!"
            "No!!??"
            "No!!!!"
            "By the sperm of my
ancestors," raged the baron, using the most fearsome oath he knew.
"You'll come out of there right now or suffer the immediate and unlimited
consequences. No son of mine is going to defy his father like that."
            "Push off,
paps," said Togura, all defiance.
            The baron then assaulted
the door vigorously. A chunk of rotten wood fell from the ceiling, and one of
the risers of the stairway split open, but the door itself was solid, and held.
Finally, cursing and muttering, spitting sawdust and swearing ferociously, the
baron retreated downstairs. He took rooms for himself and for Prick, paying the
ground floor premium; they would spend the night there, and deal with Togura in
the morning.
            Togura, alone and lonely
in his room, barred the door then cried himself to sleep. The bed on which he
slept was a huge and incredibly ancient affair made of stout timbers standing
waist-high off the floor; as he slept, he was a small crumpled island of misery
in an ocean of dirty linen. Bed bugs, oblivious of his emotional agony, feasted
merrily on his helpless flesh.
            Sleeping, Togura dreamt
that he was in a castle which was under siege. Invaders were attacking the main
gate with a battering ram. The sullen thud and thump of the assault began to
undermine his composure. The ram charged again, hitting the door with a crash
so loud that it woke him up.
            Togura, starting from
sleep and blinking at darkness, stared in the direction of the door. Something
was demolishing it. With a final crash, the door splintered and gave way. A
faintly aromatic smell of ancient timbers percolated through the room. Outside,
on the stairway, some large animal was breathing heavily with a kind of wet,
gutteral wheezing.
            "Paps?" said
Togura uncertainly.
            "Prepare yourself,
little man," said the animal, in a thick slurred voice.
            "Slerma!"
screamed Togura.
            The animal outside made
strenuous efforts to enter, but failed. The doorway was too small.
            "Slerma," said
Togura, in a shaky voice. "I'll do anything you say. Just don't hurt me, that's
all. I love you."
            He was answered by a
scream of rage.
            "Love? Love! Little
man, I'll kill you! Guta will kill you. How dare you make love to his
Slerma?"
            Too late, Togura
realised his fatal mistake.
            "No, Guta!" cried
Togura. "I didn't mean it. I don't want Slerma. I don't want anything to
do with her."
            "Liar! You were
seen. The serving girl told me. You were seen. Embraced! Deep in her charms,
her arms enfolding you. She fed you with her own magnificent hand."
            "Guta, I really
don't want her. She's appalling. She's hideous. She's a mass of flab and
sausage meat. She makes me sick, she - "
            "You insult my
darling. My true love. My fondest dream. The one and only real woman in the
world. Animal! I'm going to kill you!"
            The building shook,
timbers groaned, the roof strained, and Guta forced himself into Togura's room.
As darkness crashed toward him, roaring, Togura rolled out of bed and took
cover underneath the bed. Guta, finding the bed in the night, hoisted himself
aboard and began to trample it with his knees. He roared out incomprehensible
obscenities as he sought for his victim.
            Frustrated at