The Wandering (The Lux Guardians, #2) Read Online Free PDF

house fritter
away.
     
    ***
     
    Miya
     
    00:59. 12.10.2040. The
Free Lands, Southlands, Harwich.
     
     
    I’m there again—on the
train. Another version of myself stands at Yosiah’s side, her life
falling apart when she sees the resolute expression on his face.
I’m somewhere in the crowd, watching myself. I don’t want to watch.
I know what will happen.
    I have to stop it.
    I have to stop him
jumping. He’s not going to make it to the next train.
    I wipe my sweaty palms
on my jeans and shove through the crowd of Guardians. Every scream
burns my throat as I order everyone to move, but nobody even
glances at me. I keep pushing and pushing through the bodies,
shouting myself hoarse, but the Guardians never seem to end. I’m
not getting any closer to Siah. I’m invisible and made of air. I’m
not going to make it.
    I grab a hand rail and
vault myself into the air, straining to see above the river of
heads. Yosiah’s white Guardian jacket billows around him as he
hurls himself out of the train and into the darkness of the
underground tunnel beyond. The last thing I see is his dark hair,
whipping wildly with the wind of the tunnel. And then nothing. No
Siah. Just the train doors and a gap of midnight between them.
    The scream that comes
from my throat is inhuman.
    I slip to the floor
and my efforts to push and shove become more desperate, more
violent. I punch a guy in the stomach but he doesn’t move an inch.
I scream but he doesn’t react. I’m trapped here, rooted to the grey
plastic floor, while Yosiah dies on the train tracks. I want to go
with him, to die with him, but I can’t move.
    I start to sob, and
then I’m thrown into the present.
     
     
    “I’m here,” Yosiah
whispers. He crushes me against his chest.
    I don’t realise that
my cries have spilled out of my dream for a while. It takes me even
longer to realise that I’m choking on Yosiah’s name with each
breath. “I’m here,” he says, again and again. “I’m here.” It takes
a hundred heartbeats for it to sink in. He’s not on the train or
dying in the tunnels. He’s here and he’s okay.
    “It’s just a dream,”
he murmurs.
    “No, it’s not.” I
shake my head, ignoring how weak my words come out. Yosiah’s eyes
are steady, dim light catching his golden irises. Looking into them
calms me. I speak the next words without a sob. “It’s not just a
dream. It happened.”
    His fingers run over
my cheeks, my jaw; my eyes close. “Tell me.”
    “The train … when you
jumped.”
    “I’m not there
anymore. I’m here.”
    “I thought you were
gonna die.”
    “I know.”
    It’s quiet for a long
time. I use the silence to sort out my thoughts, to line them up in
some kind of order. Ten minutes could have passed before I speak
again. I make fists of Siah’s shirt and say in a voice stronger
than I feel, “You cannot. Do that. Again. You can’t just run off
and risk your life. I know you’ll want to and I know you’ll try,
but if you ever feel like doing anything as fucking stupid as that
again I’ll kill you. We’re supposed to be friends, Siah. We tell
each other things like that. We don’t hide them. But if you ever do
anything so suicidal again—”
    “I won’t.” I can hear
the promise in his voice. He slides his hands over my shoulders and
down my spine to press me against him. I expect the usual sick
nervousness to come, the urge to get away from his smothering
touch, but it doesn’t. Siah’s closeness is welcome. Right now I
need it. The nightmare made every emotion in me turn to fear, and I
don’t want to lose the bit of comfort his arms give me.
    “What happens when you
want to do something like that again?” I murmur, looking down at my
hands. “What’s gonna happen when you leave again?”
    He goes perfectly
still. “I’ll take you with me.”
    “Why didn’t you take
me with you before?”
    “There wasn’t
time.”
    A flash of irritation
makes me want to argue, to shout, to shove him away,