The Voyage Read Online Free PDF Page A

in sweat. Manny had insisted he sleep in his bed instead of on the hard floor.  Quietly, so as not to awaken Manny, he got out of bed and walked up the stairs to sit outside on the open deck. The darkness settled like a blanket filled with silver stars. As he sat alone, Alex gazed up into the sky, and finally the tears he’d held back for so long came like a flood through a broken dam, and he wept. The smell of the musty urine-soaked hay he’d slept on in the camp still lingered in his nose, and regardless of how much he bathed, he could not wash it away. The faces of the friends he left behind, with their jutting cheekbones and emaciated bodies, haunted his every moment. Perhaps it would have been better if he had died, for in truth he could not live, not like this. Alex wrung his hands and looked down at the floor. He was so caught up in thought that he did not hear the footsteps as they approached him.
    “Alex?” Anna’s soft voice entered his tormented world.
    Alex turned his head to look up but he did not answer.
    “I couldn’t sleep. I needed some fresh air.” She smiled, pulling a chair next to his. “May I join you?”
    He nodded, hating himself for being unable to communicate, aware of how uncomfortable he made this girl feel. Yet, small talk was not within his power.
    “Manny likes you very much.”
    “Does he? He is a good person.”
    “Yes, very kind and light hearted.”
    Alex nodded.
    “Alex…” She hesitated until he met her eyes. “You were in Dachau?”
    “Yes.” He looked out across the water.
    “I am sure it must be hard for you to forget.”
    “I will never forget.” His voice sounded angrier than he meant for it to be. When he looked at her face, he suddenly felt ashamed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so abrupt. It’s just that I feel that by keeping the memory of my friends and loved ones in my heart …” His voice cracked with emotion he could not speak.
    “I understand. And I agree, you must never forget them. But I also feel that if you stop living, you will have done them a terrible injustice. Your life must have meaning. Somehow, Alex, you have been chosen to live. If you do something wonderful with your life it will be for all of those who were unable to fulfill their dreams.”
    This was the first time any words had penetrated Alex’s grief stricken mind. Perhaps she could be right.
    “I was a writer before all of this began, in another time, another lifetime.” His voice cracked as the words emerged, barely audible.
    “What did you write?”
    It felt as if a crab apple had lodged itself in his throat, and he swallowed hard. “Before things got really bad… I guess what I am saying is, before Kristallnacht , I wrote fiction, short stories...but then…” Alex looked out over the dark water and wondered how deep the water was. He wondered how it would feel to fall to the bottom of the ocean, his breath sucked from his lungs as he left the world behind.
    “Yes, go on, please.” Anna’s voice brought him back as she took his hand. It startled him to feel the warmth of her touch, and he pulled his hand away. He’d not felt human contact in so long. Then he turned from the ocean to meet her eyes.
    “I couldn’t help myself. I tried. I suppose I should have tried harder, but, I began to write anti-Nazi essays. They seemed to flow out of me without my control. And worse, I was compelled to allow them to be published…especially in the Jewish communities. Something made me want to shout a warning. To let the others know what I could see coming in the future.”
    “And so you became an enemy of the Reich?”
    “Yes. I was arrested. I expected to be. But what I did not expect was that they would arrest my family.” He looked away from her. “They took us to Dachau: my mother, my father, and my sister Esther, my sweet, innocent little sister. If I had known they would take them… If I had known what they would do to them...” Deep sobs broke from within