that I’m not sorry at all and that maybe he did not. But then he says, “I did not mean …” His voice is quiet, and not, of course he had no intention of doing so. He did not intend to make this happen. He had no intention that we kissed. He has to Brianna. “Okay,” I say sitting up and smile with the smile you used when one of Brianna’s boyfriends are annoying me, the smile that says I will listen and I will understand because that is what I do. I know things are a little weird between you and Brianna now, and the thing is, Brianna thinks you’re mad at her, “I say, reminding me that I have a best friend, this is her boyfriend, and … Well, so what else is there? -. I know you’re not angry, but she is only … “drink. She really loves this and is so concerned. Ryan looks away from me then, staring at the windshield on the dark front yard. “I’m not … I’m not mad at her. Just … Sarah, I really had no intention … “I know as fast as I can tell, I do not want him to say something else. I do not want to hear what comes after “really had no intention ?, especially when he has said twice. And maybe my voice out a little too high, perhaps a bit hasty, but I can not sit here in the quiet darkness of Ryan with this car. When you need me that was a mistake, even though …
It was not. Not for me, and out of the car then I say, “Thank you again, without looking back, without knocking the door but closed and isolated.
I turn and look. Not see it go. I did not, but I’m trembling when I get inside. Trembling for what happened. To want what should not. How happy I was to talk to him. How easy it was to be with him. This kiss. Tonight, at the party, he said last week, and a moment I wanted to forget. But I have not been able to.
Eight
Here’s what happened, here is the time that has been stuck in my head, that of which he spoke at the party.
Maybe it was nothing, but I was still thinking about it. I had been thinking about it. Last Thursday, I went to Brianna’s house to leave a pile of clothes she had left at home. Mom and I had washed her out of my car, checking before it hit the bell Brianna’s mother was not home. “Hey” Brianna said as she opened the door and smiled when I said, clothes washed, Your Majesty. “I love your mom,” she said. And you too. But we already know. Sign. “I will not bother,” I said, and Brianna shook her head and said: “Do not worry, Mom is at work. At least take a soda or something. I did the shopping, so there is more to take the Ancient Secret Diet Tea. “Okay,” I said and walked inside the house. I saw Ryan sitting in the room on the couch. “Oh,” I said. I did not know … I did not see Ryan’s car … I should go. - Why? “Brianna said. We’re just going for a while. “Oh,” I said again and then I realized that there were other people in the room too. Shelby, Henry and Terry were there, were the performances that Brianna did every year and they were all holding their scripts, looking at me with disgust.
“Sorry,” I said and Brianna said, “No, it’s good you’re here. You can hang out with Ryan because he is totally boring, but it is being too nice to say. In addition he has to lead everyone to
home, promised he would do after all make their presentation. And as for not seeing the car … well, I did park down the street and not have to go get it. And before you know it, was drinking root beer sitting next to Ryan while everyone I talked less and then he went only two of us, Brianna, Shelby and Henry went to the roof to make a scene, Shelby was saying. - Out! This is the kind of set we should ask! ? “Sorry,” I said again, as if that was all he could say. I did not know … I thought that Brianna was alone. “You could say” Ryan said. I told her I wanted to talk when I came to visit tonight and the next thing I know is I’m in the room with you. “Sorry, I was calculated as the thousandth time, Ryan said,” No,