that’s ridiculous. No one thinks that,” Chase said dismissively. “You’re overreacting.”
“I am not. People have seriously said that — to my face. And today wasn’t the first time.” Chase’s face morphed into an angry glare at that information. “And this… ” I motioned between the two of us. “This isn’t worth sacrificing my career over. I’m done sacrificing for other people. Done!”
“Kaia,” Chase replied, “you’re being ridiculous; this isn’t my fault.”
“Maybe not,” I answered. “But I don’t know what else to do. I’m sorry.”
Without letting Chase answer, I turned on my heels and walked out of his office. He called after me, but I didn’t turn around. Instead, I walked towards the elevators with my eyes in front of me, tears running down my face.
6
T he rest of my day passed in a blur. I could barely focus on what was in front of me, which was not a great state to be in for an Emergency Room intern. Luckily, I got through the rest of my shift without an incident, later followed by a sleepless night tossing and turning alone in my bed. Did I really just do this? After admitting to myself that I was in love with Chase, did I really just break up with him?
I was changing into my scrubs in the locker room the following morning when I was cornered by Dr. Barns.
“So,” she said with a huge smile. “You and Chase. I’m not surprised.”
“Not anymore,” I told her, refusing to meet her eyes. “It’s over.”
“What?” she asked. “Already?”
“Yeah,” I replied.
Dr. Barns led me over to the table, then sat down next to me.
“Tell me what happened,” she said, gently placing a hand on my shoulder.
“Nothing happened,” I replied. “Not really. I just didn’t want to have to deal with the gossip. Chase is great, but not worth risking my career for.”
“You seriously ended the relationship before it had even began, over a little gossip?” Dr. Barns asked.
“It was more than a little gossip. People had already been implying that I’d slept my way into this internship… I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I didn’t need more questions about my professional reputation. Not when I’ve been at this hospital for less than two months.”
“Kaia,” Dr. Barns reasoned, “no one that really matters to your career thinks that about you. There is a couple of jealous interns spreading rumors. I’m going to make sure that their harassment is nipped in the bud. The committee that hired you — of which I was a part — we all know exactly why you were offered this internship. Anyone else who has worked closely with you understands as well. You’re brilliant.”
Her words sent a warm feeling across my chest, but I needed to reconfirm why I’d ended things with Chase.
“Chase and I had only been dating a few days,” I told her. “I just didn’t think it was worth the risk.”
“Perhaps it wasn’t,” Dr. Barns replied. “But you’ll never know unless you give it a shot.”
I only nodded. I wasn’t really sure what to think at this point.
“I know it’s none of my business,” Dr. Barns continued when I didn’t speak. “But I’m going to give you a piece of advice. I’ve had a long and successful career. I’ve sacrificed a lot for it. One of the things I sacrificed was a family. I’ve never been married, never had kids. I haven’t even had that many long-term relationships. I could never find the time in my busy schedule. I always thought I did the right thing, but I often ask myself if it was worth it — if I’d really needed to sacrifice so much, whether or not I could’ve actually had both. I just want you to know this, and to be sure you’re making the right decision for yourself.”
Finally lifting my eyes, I studied her grave face. She’d always seemed so self-assured and confident; it was hard to imagine that she had regrets.
“I had best get back to work and I know your shift is about to begin. Just think about what