my girlfriend's sister. Isn't it like the law or something that you have to cover for me?"
Wrong move. Bringing up Ella made me less likely to help him, not more. But none of this was about Ella. It was about me and what I would think of myself when I looked in a mirror.
I dropped the paper on his desk as my reply. He stood there staring at it, and then shifted his dark eyes back to me. I held in a gasp. He looked furious.
"What's your problem, Matilda?" He made my name sound ugly and twisted.
Just a few seconds ago I'd been like a timid bunny, too scared to stand up for myself, too afraid of disappointing him. But that one word, my name, said in such a hateful way, was all it took for me to get my self-respect back.
"Don't call me that," I hissed between clenched teeth and stood up to face him. He had a few inches on me, but it was better than sitting down while he towered over me. "You've barely spoken two words to me since we were nine and suddenly I'm supposed to lie for you?"
He let out a short bark of cruel laughter. "What, are you like keeping track or something?"
I was. I was keeping track. "No."
Before today, the most he'd said to me were four words in third grade. I was on the swings and he kicked a ball that hit me in the face. It knocked me off the swing and square on my back. I vividly remembered how I couldn't quite breathe, like all the air had been sucked out of my lungs. He immediately came over and said, "Jeez, are you okay?" (I realized that I was probably being generous in counting "jeez" as a word, but since I counted the "uh" from the Bathroom Incident, I decided to allow it.)
He had helped me to my feet and brushed the dirt off of me. He patted me on the shoulder, gave me a Jake smile, which he had perfected even in the third grade, and went back to playing.
I'm pretty sure the wind wasn't the only thing knocked out of me that day. I seemed to have lost all my common sense and ability to control my heart where Jake was concerned. That was way back before he got absorbed into the popular kids' hive collective where everyone thought, acted, talked, and dressed the same.
Back before he thought he could use people and get away with it.
"Do you think you're the only one who wants to get out of detention?" I asked him, my voice shaking again. But this time it wasn't nervousness, it was anger.
"Oh, yeah, what do you have going on that's so important you have to leave? Some busy study date with your little Goth friend?"
Now was not the time to mention that yes, in fact, Trent and I did have plans to hang out later on.
"At least I have an actual friend that's not a complete waste of space."
This was what I had been reduced to? The
neener-neener
school of arguments?
Another angry look flashed across his perfect face. A detached analytical piece of me realized that probably no girl had ever treated him this way. He didn't seem to be enjoying the novelty of it.
Then my emotional side threatened to take over.
What are you doing?
she hysterically sobbed.
What is wrong with you? This is Jake Kingston! You are so blowing it!
But I shook off those feelings in part because I'd never seen Jake act this way. I imagined he would only use his powers of charm for good, not for evil. And that made me angry. It got my dander up, as my dad would say.
His face settled with a look of indifference. "Whatever." He turned to walk away. I heard him mumble something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like "goody two-shoes."
I didn't like being dismissed so easily. He didn't know me or why I'd made the decision I had. "You know, you signed the same honor code that I did."
I didn't know why I said that. We had to sign an honor code every year, and I hadn't even read through it. After I signed it, I didn't ever give it a second thought. Which meant I shouldn't have brought it up.
"The honor code? Really?" He let out a short bark of laughter. "You suddenly have some hidden allegiance to this school? Got some
Marie-Louise Gay, David Homel