The True Meaning of Smekday Read Online Free PDF Page B

wrapping a present. After a while the noises drifted off, and I think I did, too. I hadn’t been sleeping long, before I was startled awake by a big noise.
    Sckruuuup
    went the noise, from above, from up on the roof. And yes, for a moment I thought, Santa Claus? So sue me.
    I got very ’Twas the Night Before Christmas at this point as I stumbled to the window to see what had happened. That’s when I got my first glimpse: a huge accordion hose, like a vacuum cleaner attachment, swinging down from the roof and sailing off into the darkness. I looked up quickly to see what it was attached to, but I saw only a huge dark shape high in the sky. In its wake, every car alarm in the neighborhood wailed, and every dog barked.
    I heard Mom shout, “Cannoli!” from the living room.
    Then, “Earphones!”
    I ran out into the hall and stopped at the doorway.
    “Eggbeater!”
    Mom had fallen asleep stuffing my stocking. And she must have really fallen asleep, because she was still wearing the stocking up to her elbow. She was sitting on the floor, propped against the futon, bits of candy and ribbon spiraled around her.
    “Chessboard!”
    It probably goes without saying that she was chanting words like before. Only now she was shouting, red-faced, with her eyes shut tight.
    “Granata!”
    I crept, heart pounding, to her side, and got a good look at the mole. It was blinking, definitely blinking, purple and red and green, over and over and over.
    “Somewhat!”
    “Mom…?” I said.
    “Cookies!” she answered.
    “Mom! Mom, wake up!”
    “Annunciare!”
    I shook her arm, the one without the stocking on it, but her eyes stayed closed.
    “Mom!” I shouted.
    “Mom!” Mom shouted. I think this was just a coincidence.
    I don’t really remember everything else she yelled. I didn’t know I’d be asked to write it all down someday. Probably there were some nouns and verbs and things, there was definitely the name of a president but I don’t remember which one, and the brand of shampoo she liked. But I remember the last word. I remember the last word she said.
    “Zebra!”
    Then it was over. The words stopped coming. Her eyes didn’t open, but she sat quietly for a minute. I shook her again.
    “Mom…Mom…”
    She stood up. She stood up so quickly she pulled me with her. The mole was only purple now, no longer flashing. Just bright and steady, and I will hate the color purple for the rest of my life.
    I let go, and she walked through the kitchen to the back door. I thought she’d run right into it, but she calmly slid off the chain and turned the bolt, then stepped through to the fire escape. I followed, wishing I was wearing shoes. It was freezing outside.
    “Wh…where are we going?” I said, descending the stairs behind her. Once on the street, I kept an eye on the ground, stepping gingerly around broken glass and garbage. Mom didn’t answer, but her purple mole stared down at me in an evil, purple way.
    I don’t know when I first noticed the humming. I think I’d been hearing it for a while, since before waking, even, but it was the sort of thing you could drown out, like cicadas in summer. But now as we walked, it grew louder. I knew without thinking that we were walking right toward it.
    “C’mon, Mom, time to go home. It’s C-Christmas Eve.” I gritted my teeth to keep them from chattering.
    “If you come home with me, I’ll make you eggnog. I’ll make you some special eggnog. With rum. Or…or vodka. With whatever’s in the bottle with the pirate on it.”
    We were walking toward the Oak Hill Cemetery. It was a good cemetery, the kind with high stone walls and fat mausoleums. Obelisks and statues of sad angels. Normally, Mom would never have set foot in there.
    And now, finally, I could see it. It was enormous, for one thing. Bigger than you’d expect, and then bigger still. It fell slowly through the air like a bubble. Like a bubble with tentacles. Like a snow globe the size of half a football field,