The Test of Courage: (A Biography of) Michel Thomas Read Online Free PDF Page A

de Velde, was a book that purported to confine itself strictly to the marriage bed and described itself in an introduction as ‘sober, scientific and without a scintilla of eroticism’. In fact, it was advanced for its time, advocating equal sexual pleasure for both parties and stressing the need for technique. The importance of prolongation of the act for women was stressed and methods of ejaculation deferment suggested. The pros and cons of circumcision were discussed and elaborate sexual positions described - referred to as ‘attitudes’, as in ‘Equestrian Attitude (of the Woman)’. There was even a section on oral sex, or ‘genital kissing’. [17]
    The teenage Michel had no idea that sex was such a rich field and now made it an area of serious study. ‘I learned a lot. I read that if a relationship was just about physical satisfaction, the person became an object and that this was the reason for feelings of rejection. But this did not happen when sex was combined with feelings of love, which is what my aunt had tried to explain to me at age seven. I took all this into consideration and my whole relationship changed and the act became a whole night’s activity.’
    Alarmed by the intensity of her fourteen-year-old lover, the girl now drew back and began to refuse to see him, eventually locking her door against him. Naturally, this only served to increase his ardour. ‘I would climb up the wall to her window, which is what lovers are supposed to do, but in reality is pretty dangerous.’ At one point in the turbulent affair the girl announced that her period was late. She was reduced to misery by the fear of being made pregnant by an adolescent boy. It also had a sobering effect on the young Lothario. ‘My God! I sat in class surrounded by friends idly dreaming of girls. What did they know about girls? I vowed I would never do it again.’ The panic passed, and the passion with it - but he found the sexual affair had cured his sleepwalking.
    Between the ages of fourteen and sixteen Michel allocated the three months of the long summer holiday to solitary travel, a period he called ‘Getting to Know Me’. ‘Friends wanted to come, but I always went alone. I would put myself in all types of situations and evaluate how I acted and reacted in them. I would examine if I had handled myself satisfactorily. And ask myself how I felt about it. Did I get it right? Could I have done it differently? If I found something I didn’t like, or a situation that scared me or that I didn’t do well in, I would attempt to repeat it in order to pass my own tests.’ This personal quest took him all over Europe and the North African countries of Morocco, Algeria and Tunisia, where he lived and travelled with Arab camel caravans.
    Walking in the south of France on one of these journeys he decided to confront the vexing question of rats. ‘I passed a small cul-de-sac and saw a heap of trash with rats running all over it. I was repelled. Rats! I kept going... and then I stopped. Why did I react that way? Just because I had been told bad things about mice and rats? I had to know for myself what my own genuine reaction was, and whether my disgust was nothing more than a conditioned reflex. So I forced myself to go back and get to know the rats. I sat on the steps beside the trash and waited for them to come out.’ He settled down for the night, and after a while the brave ones - the leaders - ventured out. Slowly, their more timid companions joined them. He watched them for hours, until the rats surrounded him and moved about as if he were not there.
    Although Michel had grown to love his adopted country, he became increasingly aware as a teenager of a strong identity problem. He had rejected the country of his birth and embraced Germany, but knew he was not German. ‘So who was I? It became the most important thing in my life to know who I was and to establish my identity. And I found it as a Jew. As a member of a people with a