heâs become one of those nutters who thinks the CIA is after him? Or the Internal Revenue Service? Or the Child Support Agency? I havenât seen the man for thirty-six years, Amira, so I really donât know. Heâs calling himself Roger Pope, according to Clive. Well, at least the bastard has a sense of humour.â
âJohn. Stop joking please. You joke about everything.â
Hart closed his eyes. He let out a ragged breath. âMy father is dying. Clive tells me he phoned my mother and told her he needs to see me. Urgently. To pass some kind of message on to me. Something of crucial importance that has only recently come to light. And my mother, being my mother, promised him that I would go.â
âAnd sheâs sure that it was him?â
âSheâs not that far gone, Amira. She was married to the man for seven years.â
âAnd youâre planning to go?â
Hart shrugged. âYesterday, before that stuff happened in the square, Iâd have said no. That nothing on earth would get me out of Syria. That my father could go fuck himself. But suddenly, for the first time in years, Iâm a man with noassignment. And no cameras.â Hart made a phantom pass towards his chest, as if he was responding to some ancient muscle memory known only to photojournalists. âStaring down the barrel of that pistol has shaken me up. Last night I dreamt of the kid we might have had together. That he was talking to me. Urging me towards something. But I couldnât make out what he was saying. Maybe my father feels the same way about me? Maybe he has the same nightmare? Maybe he wants to apologize for leaving me when I was three? I suppose I should be grateful that he didnât persuade my mother to have me aborted.â
Amira grasped Hartâs arm. Her face was ashen. âI had to abort our baby, John. You know that. Iâve told you over and over why I never wanted to bring children into this filthy, stinking world. Why I never wanted to be a mother.â She struck her chest with her fist. âIâm a journalist. And a good one. That is who I am. Nothing else. My career is the whole of me. You knew that right from the start. I thought we were agreed on that? That the rest was just icing?â
âYou might have asked me. About our baby.â
âI know what you would have said.â
âAnd whatâs that?â
Amira turned her face away from him and refused to answer.
SEVEN
The Hitlerbunker, Reich Chancellery, Berlin
29 APRIL 1945
âWeâre dead.â
Inge von Hartelius stared at her husband. âWhat do you mean?â
âI mean that weâre dead.â The colonel held out the palm of his hand. Two blue ampoules nestled in the valley formed by his headline, his lifeline and his mound of Venus. âThe Führer gave these to me. He assures me that he has had them tested out on his Alsatian, Blondi, and that they work. Actual tears sprang into his eyes as he told me. Now heâs handing them around to his people as if they are lollipops.â Hartelius gave an involuntary shudder, as if someone, somewhere, had just walked over his grave. He glanced up at the ceiling of the anteroom and raised his voice. âIt is a great honour to be asked to die with the Führer.â He lowered his voice to little more than a whisper. âTheyâre potassium cyanide. Two hundred milligrams. Bite one and you lose consciousness in seconds.â
âHowâ¦â
âHeart attack.â
âI mean how long will it take for us to die? If weâre desperate enough, or stupid enough, or frightened enough to bite on one of these things?â
Hartelius pocketed the pills. He reached for his wifeâs left hand, squeezed it in both of his own, and kissed the ring finger. It was a long-standing ritual, and each recognized its significance. âThe actual time span is irrelevant, Schatzi , because we will no longer be