The Tainted Snuff Box Read Online Free PDF Page A

me you are common.  Indeed, who was your father?”  Sir Simon demanded.  “I’ve never heard of a Lord Brummell.”
    Perry chose this moment to interrupt, devil take him.  I had been about to initiate a discussion of Sir Simon’s parentage.  He looked like the offspring of an overbred poodle and the dustman’s dog.
    “Brummell, did you see where my wife went?  Did she leave the room?” Perry worried.  “I hope the sickness has not overtaken her again.”
    “Lady Perry is by the musicians, helping the Prince select a song,” I said, indicating her whereabouts with a wave of my hand.  I did not misunderstand Perry’s goal in distracting me from the odious Sir Simon.  “She seems fine, my friend.  Cease your fretting.  Ever since you found out she is with child you have behaved like a domineering governess.”
    “Your wife is with child?” Sir Simon asked Perry in a voice filled with disgust.  “Why is she out in company if she’s increasing?  We should not have to view a misshapen female.”
    What an ill-bred man!  Dear Lady Perry’s figure was still slim, not that it would make the slightest difference if her condition had shown.  Those people who think a lady with child should not be seen in public show a lack of sensitivity to natural beauty.
    Lord Perry turned a look of frozen hauteur on the baronet.  “I beg your pardon?  I could not have understood you correctly.”
    “You may be an earl, Lord Perry, but you must be a want-wit if you’d bring a wife who’s breeding along with you to Brighton’s entertainments.  She can only prove a burden and keep you from a man’s amusements,” Sir Simon pronounced.
    Dash it!  Now Perry and my roles would be reversed.  It would be my job to turn his attention away from Sir Simon.  “Speaking of amusements, have you seen the Green Man of Brighton?  He is known to only eat green food, dress only in green—”
    But I got no further.  Perry’s face had become a marble mask of contempt.  “Explain yourself at once,” he commanded Sir Simon.
    “There’s nothing to explain, my young buck,” Sir Simon replied, waving a hand dripping in lace.  “Every man knows that a woman is good for only two things:  pleasuring him in bed and bearing his sons.  Since your wife is busy with one, she’s useless for the other.  She should be shut away in the country somewhere until the babe is born and she can be ready to lie on her back for you again,” Sir Simon answered, his red lips spread in a lewd grin.  “Apparently, she’s done well at that in the past.”
    “Why, you blackguard,” Lord Perry said a low voice, barely containing his fury.  “I shall meet you at dawn for speaking of my wife in such vulgar terms.”
    A shiver of alarm raced through me at these deadly words.  I turned to look at Perry, but he would not meet my eye.  His gaze was riveted on Sir Simon.  The late-night party had suddenly taken on a very dark atmosphere.  “Perry, no.  You ought not have said that.  Come away now,” I said in a voice for his ears alone.  I kept my tone light and casual.  “This man is beneath your notice after all.  Let us cross the room to where the air is not so foul.” 
    But my words fell unattended.  “You young fool,” Sir Simon growled at Lord Perry, the smile fading rapidly from his painted face.  He signalled a footman to take away his empty glass.  “You’re challenging me?  What the hell for?”
    “You have insulted my wife , Sir Simon.  Will it be pistols or swords?”  Perry’s hands clenched at his sides.
    I feared the argument would quickly result in fisticuffs.  Perry is protective when it comes to Lady Perry.  He was serious about his challenge.  “Good God, Perry, dueling is against the law—” I tried, but he ignored me.
       “Insulted your wife?  I merely spoke the truth,” Sir Simon responded.  I thought him genuinely puzzled as to why Lord Perry was angry.
    “Perry, this popinjay is