The Storyteller's Daughter Read Online Free PDF Page A

tantrums.
    â€˜I didn’t realise I was pregnant at that point, obviously,’ my mother said, quickly, as if she thought Mr Lees would be outraged that she had acted so irresponsibly. Mr Lees, though, clearly did not understand the implication of eating Mexican food whilst carrying a baby, and just looked rather baffled.
    â€˜Chillies lead to a fiery temperament,’ my mother clarified in quite a patronising tone, as if a biology teacher really should know this. ‘Once I realised I was pregnant I tried to balance out the heat of the chillies by eating several bowls of guacamole, but obviously it was too late. The damage had already been done.’
    She looked at me sitting slumped on the chair next to her and shook her head sadly, as if I had some sort of defect. Poor Mr Lees looked at me for guidance but I just blushed a deep shade of crimson and stared at my feet. I felt acutely embarrassed, but not surprised. This was bound to happen. At least it helped explain why, whenever I had a fit of teenage angst, my mother would tell me to eat a tub of yoghurt. She obviously thought the chilli I was subjected to in the womb was repeating on me.
    I learnt to live with the embarrassment. I even learnt to live with the anger. But what I have always struggled to live with is the guilt.
    â€˜I am just so proud of you, Meggy!’ my mother cried, excitedly, as we walked home from that very same parents’ evening. ‘You’re doing so well. You’re going to do so many exciting things with your life. I just want the best for you, Sweetheart, you know that don’t you? And I’ll be here for you all the way. I’ve always believed in you… ’
    I had already tuned out by the time she said the word ‘proud’, overcome by feelings of guilt and self-reprobation. Why did I have to get so angry with her? Why did I have to care what other people thought? She loved me so much. Listening to her babbling excitedly about all my achievements, so enthusiastic about everything I did, I thought about Louise Warbuck’s mother who never even washed her PE kit, and Gary’s mother who was always half-drunk. I felt angry and ashamed at myself for being so ungrateful. The truth was I couldn’t have asked for a more loving and supportive mother. I just wished she could be a little more... well... normal.
    My idea of heaven was a place where nobody knew me. Where nobody knew about all the silly things I had said and done, the stories I had accidentally rattled off, the ways I had humiliated myself. Heaven was being surrounded by people who saw the world in black and white, who spoke the truth, who stated the facts. People who didn’t confuse me, or leave me struggling with conflicting thoughts and feelings. It was a place where things were simple and straight-forward.
    Heaven was the Faculty of Science at Leeds University.
    I fitted in perfectly from the day I arrived. Finally, I was surrounded by people whose aims were the same as mine: to understand, to make sense of, to categorise, to fact find, and to get to the bottom of things. I sought out the companionship of the most serious and dedicated students, so that even socially our conversation rarely deviated from our shared scientific interests. It meant that I rarely had the chance to slip up by talking about how I had once blown up like a beach ball after drinking too much fizzy lemonade, or how my mother once bought a bag of onions that were so strong they even made themselves cry and ended up flooding our kitchen floor. My interest in scientific study was a bonus, rather than just another thing that made me an easy target. Finally, it was making me friends and earning me respect. And in my final year life got even better.
    â€˜Meg May, it’s a pleasure to meet you. My name’s – ’
    â€˜Mark Daly. I know.’
    Our eyes met over a Bunsen burner. Perhaps, had it been on, I would have seen fire in Mark’s