The Stepson Read Online Free PDF Page B

now, as she sat looking back over those past years, that, though her life had fallen back, since her meeting with young Graham, into the old monotony, she herself had not relapsed to her former state of long-suffering resignation. If she appeared resigned it was only because she saw no loophole for escape; but, in fact, her character fromthat date had hardened. She had received one fleeting glimpse of what life might be, and a relentless determination grew up within her during the years that followed. Her father had snatched the cup from her lips once, but he should not do so again. She hated him, and she knew now that she hated him, and if ever a new opportunity occurred, she would grasp it. Nothing, next time, should thwart her. If her father tried to do so, she would sacrifice him ruthlessly. Her body and soul were desperate for self-realization. Coldly and punctually she fulfilled her duties in the house, but her thoughts and desires were concentrated now upon herself. She had given to her father more, much more than he deserved, and as she sat brooding now, her elbow on the table and her chin in her hand, her black brows drew together and in her grey-green eyes there flickered for a moment that sinister ghost which gave to them an expression of almost fanatic intensity. Then she went on to recall how, one day two months ago, as she was walking home from a neighbouring village with a heavy basket on her arm, she had heard the sound of wheels coming up behind her, and how, when the trap came level with her, it had pulled up and the old man driving it had offered her a lift. She had accepted it gladly and old Ben Humphrey had gone a mile out of his way to set her down at her own door. She had spoken of the impossibility, in that country place, of getting meat and any but the plainestgroceries, and Humphrey had offered to call for her and drive her into Elchester next market-day. She had accepted gratefully, and it never crossed her mind that this smart, kindly old man might provide her long-awaited chance of escape, nor to wonder at his willingness to drive nine miles out of his way to call for her and take her to market and back — never, at least, until, while driving her back from Elchester for the third time, he had slid his arm round her waist and kissed her. She had struggled to get free of his grip and they had not spoken again till he set her down outside the school. Then, as he handed her basket down to her, he had muttered an apology. ‘I love you, my dear,’ he added, ‘so don’t be cross with me.’
    The experience had upset her, for the kiss had shocked and offended her and she had never for an instant thought of the old white-haired man as a lover. But, thinking it over coldly and rationally during the next few days, she determined that if he asked her to marry him she would accept him, for she would be infinitely freer and happier as the wife of a prosperous farmer than as the drudge of a poor schoolmaster. Besides, Ben Humphrey was a cheerful, kindly old man, and though his love would be a sad and sordid substitute for the love of a young man whom she could love in return, she forced herself to check her body’s shudder of repulsion at the thought of being his wife.
    Yet, as she had pondered it again that night, lying in bed in the dark little room upstairs, her heart and body rebelled once more and she wept bitterly for an hour. What an end to her tremulous, unconfessed hopes of love. But in all else the change would be a very happy one, for at least she would be rid for ever of her father and the life of joyless drudgery. And to comfort herself she began to imagine the life she would lead after her marriage; a life of peaceful idleness, for Mr. Humphrey had told her there would be no need for her to do any more work than she felt inclined for. How delightful it would be not to have to get up and light the fire in the morning, not to have to make the beds and do the cooking and