The Stag and Hen Weekend Read Online Free PDF Page A

behind,’ said Simon. ‘I know it’s a pain in the arse, but this weekend won’t be the same if we’re all tied to our phones for the whole of it.’
    ‘You just don’t want us uploading pictures of your hairy backside to Facebook!’ retorted Reuben.
    ‘No mate,’ replied Simon, ‘what I actually don’t want is to spend the whole weekend watching you yakking to your missus on the phone.’
    ‘Like that would happen.’
    ‘I’ve seen it with my own eyes! The last time we went to see County play. You spent more time looking at your phone than you did watching the game!’
    ‘We just like to keep in touch that’s all.’
    ‘More she just likes to keep a track of where you are and what you’re doing. Why don’t you go the full hog and get yourself a GPS device fitted?’
    ‘Si’s right,’ said Deano dropping his phone into the bag. ‘I went on a stag do last summer and it was a real drag. You’d be there trying to have a laugh and every five minutes some guy would be taking a call, sending a text or wandering around the pub looking for a signal.’
    ‘Cool,’ said Simon, ‘so that’s two down.’ He jiggled the bag in Phil’s direction. ‘Come on mate, you know it makes sense.’
    Phil looked at the bag blankly. While he didn’t normally feel the need to text home as often as it appeared Reuben did, he did during the normal course of a day like to send Helen at least one or two just to say hello, even more so when he had to go away overnight on business. The idea of not communicating with Helen for the best part of three whole days was disconcerting and if it had been any other group of people in any other situation he wouldn’t even have contemplated it. But these were his closest friends who, even though some, like Degsy, weren’t exactly flush with cash, hadn’t so much as raised an eyebrow at the expense involved simply because it was his stag do.
    ‘Okay, I’m in,’ said Phil dropping his mobile into the bag. ‘Let’s keep it old school.’
    ‘Me too,’ said Degsy.
    ‘A pre-Nokia world it is then,’ said Spencer with a stoic raise of the eyebrow before adding his to the bag.
    ‘You guys don’t get it,’ implored Reuben, ‘my missus will do her nut if she can’t get hold of me all weekend. She once couldn’t get hold of me for a day because I’d left my charger at home and by the time I got back from work she’d practically packed her bags.’
    ‘Mate,’ said Simon holding out his hand, ‘you’re embarrassing yourself. Just give me the phone.’
    ‘Just know this,’ said Reuben looking at Phil as he dropped his phone in the bag, ‘you owe me big time.’
    Clutching the bag of phones Simon disappeared in search of a left luggage locker and returned some twenty minutes later just as a message came over the tannoy: “Could passengers Dean, Corrbridge, Collins, Hudson, McDonald and Brayford please come to gate 11 immediately where flight 368 to Amsterdam is ready to depart.”
    Not needing to be told twice the boys ran full pelt along the corridor to security while Simon went into a long explanation of why it had taken him the best part of half an hour to leave the bag of phones at the left luggage counter which involved staffing problems and a malfunctioning credit card reader. Once they were through to the other side, they were conscious of the curious looks they were getting from their fellow passengers because of their matching attire.
    ‘Do you think the whole weekend’s going to be this frantic?’ panted Phil as he handed in his ticket to the flight staff.
    ‘Nah, mate,’ replied Simon, ‘Take it from me, my son, this is the easy part.’

4.
    Having gratefully consumed (after much mockery) the packed lunch Helen had made within half an hour of taking off, the group spent the remainder of the journey trading drinking stories. They’d landed at Schipol Airport, caught the express train into Amsterdam Centraal and were now standing in the square outside the