The Song of the Siren Read Online Free PDF Page A

I began to notice the countryside as I never had before; I loved the tawny leaves of the beeches and the cones which were beginning to appear on the pines. Everywhere were the spiders’ webs-a feature of autumn-and I thought they looked enchanting with the dewdrops sparkling on them. It had always been unlike me to notice nature. I began to feel as though I was awakening from a long nightmare.
    Benjie was an exhilarating companion; he had always been ready to laugh, easy going, good natured, more like his father than his mother. Sir Gregory Stevens might not be the most exciting person I had ever met but he was certainly one of the kindest.
    Benjie was twelve years or so older than I but that did not seem a great difference to me. I compared everything and everyone with Beau, who had been more than twenty years older. Oddly enough I felt as old as Benjie in experience of life. Beau had done that for me.
    One day when we had been riding in the woods we came home past Enderby Hall.
    “Dreary old place,” said Benjie. “I remember once you followed your uncle Carl and me there.”
    “I remember well,” I said. “You were horrible boys. You would have none of me. You told me to go away and not pester you.”
    “Put it down to our ignorant youth,” said Benjie. “I promise I’ll never say that to you again, Carlotta.”
    “I must have been an impossible child.”
    “No ... just certain that Carlotta was the centre of the universe and all must bend the knee to her.”
    “Except Benjamin and Uncle Carl.”
    “Idiots we were.”
    “But it was all for the best. I followed you there, went to sleep in a cupboard and that was how we all got to know Robert Frinton, who turned out to be my father’s uncle....”
    “Fell victim to your charms and left you his fortune. It’s like a story in a ballad and just the kind of thing that would happen to you.”
    “I don’t think there’s much of the fairytale heroine about me, Benjie. Didn’t you say yourself that I thought I was the centre of the universe. I imagine I haven’t changed much and that means I am an extremely selfish creature.”
    “You’re an adorable one, Carlotta.”
    31He was looking at me with a certain intensity, and under Beau’s tuition I had learned what that meant.
    I said on impulse: Let’s go and look at the house.”
    “Isn’t it locked up?”
    “I have the key. I always carry it on my belt. Just in case I take the fancy to go in.”
    He looked at me oddly. He knew about Beau-the whole family did. But I did not think they knew he had stayed at Enderby.
    We tethered our horses and walked towards the front porch. Being with Benjie was arousing certain emotions in me. I didn’t understand myself. I had a sudden fancy to know what it would be like to make love with Benjie. Perhaps I was as Beau had suggested, the sort of woman to whom physical passion is a necessity. Beau had said he had never met such a ready virgin; meaning of course that I had not shrunk from him even in the first encounter. Like a flower opening to the sun, he had said. I remembered in the days before I had met Beau I liked to be with Benjie, and the knowledge that he felt something special for me had filled me with a gratified delight.
    I opened the door. I had a feeling then that it might be possible to dispel the image of Beau for ever.
    “It is an eerie place,” said Benjie. “Don’t you think so?”
    “That’s all in the mind,” I retorted.
    “Yes. I suppose you’re right. It doesn’t look eerie now with you standing there.
    Carlotta, you are beautiful. I only ever saw one other woman as beautiful as you and that was my mother. I was very proud of you when I believed you were my sister.”
    “Your pride did not extend to letting me accompany you on your jaunt to Enderby.”
    “I’ve told you you must put that down to boyish stupidity.”
    He was looking at me earnestly and I knew that in a moment he was going to kiss me.
    I started to cross the hall,