The Sexiest Man Alive Read Online Free PDF

sprawled all over the rink by now, Mazie thought, but Ben couldn’t use brute force on a gaggle of plastered females. They had his shirt off in a flash. Another minute and his pants were going.
    “Hands off, you guys!” Mazie yelled.
    Nobody even heard her.
    Suddenly they all gasped and squealed.
    “What happened?” asked Juju, who was even shorter than Mazie and had to jump up and down to see.
    “Sadie slapped the Love Links on him!”
    “Awe, come on, ladies,” Ben protested, trying to be a good sport about it. “Unlock them, okay?”
    “Can’t get out of them without the ke-e-ey,” Lottie teased, snatching the cuff key from Sadie and dangling it in front of Ben. He reached for it with his shackled hands. She dangled it for a moment, then stuffed it into the valley between her Double Ds. “You want it, hot stuff? Fish it out with your tongue!”
    “Why don’t we demonstrate our Big Bang Orgasm Oil on our Mr. Sexiest?” purred Sadie, squirting oil out of a tube and onto her fingers. “Oh, don’t be shy, sweetie—you’ll love how it feels!”
    Ben grimaced at the fumes as Sadie smeared the oil on his chest.
    “You want me to set her sofa on fire?” Juju asked Mazie, picking up a lit candle from a table. “While they’re distracted, you grab Ben and—”
    “Tempting, but no.”
    “Okay, Plan B. I yell, ‘Look—Jake Gyllenhaal!’—and point out the window.”
    “Ladies, we’ve still got more goodies to look at,” Sadie reminded the crowd. “Do you know anyone who’s been bad? Someone who deserves punishment?” She whipped a wooden paddle out of her basket. “Because that person might need a dose of Mister Spanky Pants!”
    “Mr. Sexiest has been naughty,” yelled Krystal. “He needs a paddling.”
    “No paddling,” Mazie yelled.
    Hearing Mazie’s voice, Ben turned in her direction, but while he was turned, Krystal snatched the paddle and whacked him across the butt. Ben, who hadn’t been expecting it, jumped a foot, which made all the women cackle like crazed hens. If a guy had done that, Ben would have garroted him with the handcuff chain.
    “Here we have the Whipsicle,” Sadie announced, yanking a skinny whip out of her picnic basket. “For those times when someone has been
extra
bad.”
    “Hmm,” Juju said. “I think I
need
one of those.”
    “It’s made from kangaroo hide, so it’s really bouncy.” Sadie stretched the whip to its full nine-foot length, demonstrating its knotted end. “I’ve been practicing with this sucker—everybody get back and I’ll show you.”
    Jostling one another, the women moved aside, leaving a space in the middle of the room. Sadie raised the whip over her head, threw her shoulder into it, and snapped it. It sounded like a sonic boom. What would that thing feel like coming down on your bare skin at two hundred pounds of pressure per square inch?
    No way were these sex-starved sluts going to try the Whipsicle on her man, Mazie grimly vowed. Digging in hard with her elbows—a survival skill acquired during her prison days—she forged her way through the pack.
    “Unlock the cuffs,” she ordered Sadie.
    Sadie narrowed her eyes. “Well, aren’t you just the little Miss Prissypants? Who are you to tell me what to do?”
    “She’s my girl,” Ben said, looking relieved to see Mazie.
    “Her?”
sneered Krystal. “I bet you can do better than that, hot stuff.” She snuggled close to Ben. “She looks like the runt fish you throw back in the water.”
    Mazie glared at Lottie. “Would you give me the key, please?”
    “Would you give me the key, please?” Lottie mocked in a singsong voice. She hauled it up out of the Marianna Trench. “Here ya go, pipsqueak.” She pretended to hand it to Mazie, then tossed it to Krystal.
    Mazie tried to snatch the key away from her, but Krystal chucked the key to Sadie. When Mazie tried to get it from Sadie, Sadie tossed it to Lottie.
    “Keep
away
! Keep
away
! Keep
away
!” the women chanted.