The Secret Life of a Funny Girl Read Online Free PDF

anyway.”
    â€œOh my.” Miss Godwin pushes a hand through her tight grey curls and stumbles to the front of the classroom. “Girls, I’m sure Maureen will come out when she’s ready. In the meantime, we have to proceed with today’s lesson.” She picks up the papers, which tremble in her hands, then cascade to the floor like a waterfall.
    Loud laughter explodes in the classroom. Deep inside my stomach I feel a sudden thud of guilt. Poor old Miss Godwin, what am I doing to her? She looks totally rattled.
    Meanwhile, Debbie is on her feet. “Here, Miss, let me help you with that.” Then she hisses at me, “What are you doing? Are you out of your mind?” The guilt pulses in my belly. What have I done? What’s wrong with me, anyway?
    But the entire class is in an uproar now. I can see some girls standing on their seats, trying to get a better view of me huddled under my desk. The rougher girls cackle loudly. I wonder if the goody-goodies are smiling—well, a few of them might be. You never know.
    â€œThat’s a sin for you, Miss,” calls out Evelyn Coady. Evelyn’s as hard as nails, probably the worst girl in class. She’s always hanging out by Monty’s in Churchill Square, smoking cigarettes and carrying on with the boys from St. Matthew’s High School. “Maureen’s really upset.”
    â€œYeah, Miss,” adds Patsy Gallagher. Patsy is Evelyn’s sidekick, copies her every move. “What difference about which composer? They’re all dead anyhow.” She and Evelyn bark and chortle again, backed up by a few of their bunch.
    Evelyn and Patsy joining in? I grin in spite of myself (still crouched beneath my desk), but honestly? I’m starting to feel a bit nervous. Evelyn and Patsy are pretty tough customers. Debbie and I never have much to do with them.
    â€œGirls! Girls!” Miss Godwin raps repeatedly on the silver bell on her desk. The tinny ring cuts through the racket and gradually the laughter and talk fade away. “Girls, I must ask you not to speak out in class. It’s time to proceed with today’s lesson. Thank you, Debbie,” she says, as Debbie hands over the crumpled papers.
    The class is almost completely quiet now. I suppose I could keep this going if I wanted to, but the thing is, I don’t want to anymore. It’s a funny feeling, really, when you make fun of someone like this. You kind of feel dirty afterwards. And it’s not a nice way to feel.
    So out I come from beneath my desk. Poor old Miss Godwin. I know she’s a desperate teacher, but it’s a sin for me to take advantage of it.
    â€œI’m feeling better now, Miss,” I announce. Time to fix up the damage. “Of course you can’t do Beethoven again. What was I thinking?”
    The tension in Miss Godwin’s face falls away so quickly, her skin actually sags. “I’m happy to hear that, Maureen,” she says, her tone still dignified as she grips the side of the teacher’s desk. Meanwhile, Debbie is glaring at me like I’m completely despicable. Hey, it wasn’t that bad, and it’s all over now, anyway.
    â€œI’m very sorry about all this, Miss. I don’t know what came over me.”
    Miss Godwin smiles weakly. “No harm done, then. Shall we carry on with today’s lesson?”
    â€œOf course.” My voice is bright and perky. “The letter J, isn’t it? For John Jenkins?”
    Well, Miss Godwin’s whole face lights up like a neon sign. Now I’ve completely won her over. “It certainly is John Jenkins! I just wish you’d said so at the beginning. See, class, Maureen knew the correct composer all along.”
    Later by the lockers, a small group of girls gathers round me.
    â€œThat was so funny!” says Mary Ann Power, her vivid blue eyes clapped on me like I’m a rock star.
    â€œWhere do you get the nerve, Maureen?” This