The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Read Online Free PDF

the living. My father tried to explain, but grandma didn’t stop talking once so it was a bit difficult.
    We were both glad when she went home.
    Looked at
Big and Bouncy
. It is Passion Sunday after all!

Monday April 6th
    Had a postcard from my mother. It said ‘they’ were staying with friends until they found a flat. She said I could go and stay for a weekend when they were fixed up. I didn’t show it to my father.

Tuesday April 7th
    My precious Pandora is going out with Craig Thomas. That’s the last time you get a Mars bar from me, Thomas!
    Barry Kent is in trouble for drawing a nude woman in Art. Ms Fossington-Gore said that it wasn’t so much the subject matter but his ignorance of basic biological facts that was so upsetting. I did a good drawing of the Incredible Hulk smashing Craig Thomas to bits. Ms Fossington-Gore said it was a ‘powerful statement of monolithic oppression’.
    Phone call from my mother. Her voice sounded funny as if she had a cold. She kept saying, ‘You’ll understand one day, Adrian’. There was a slurping sound in the background. I expect it was that Lucas creep kissing her neck. I have seen them do it on the films.

Wednesday April 8th
    My father wouldn’t give me a note excusing me from Games so I spent nearly all morning dressed in pyjamas diving into a swimming pool and picking up a brick from the bottom. I had a bath when I came home but I still smell of chlorine. I just don’t see the point of the above lesson. When I am grown up I am hardly going to walk along a river bank in my pyjamas am I? And who would be stupid enough to dive into a river for a boring old brick? Bricks are lying around all over the place!

Thursday April 9th
    My father and me had a good talk last night. He asked me who I would prefer to live with, him or my mother? I said both. He told me he had made friends with a woman at work, she is called Doreen Slater. He said he would like me to meet her one day. Here we go again; so much for the suicidal, heartbroken, deserted husband!

Friday April 10th
    Rang my grandmother to tell her about Doreen Slater. My grandma didn’t sound too pleased, she said it was a common-sounding name and I am inclined to agree with her.
    Got
Waiting for Godot
out of the library. Disappointed to find that it was a play. Still, I will give it a go. I have been neglecting my brain lately.
    Nigel asked me if I wanted to stay the weekend. His parents are going to a wedding in Croydon. My father said I could. He looked quite pleased. I am going round to Nigel’s in the morning.
    I broke up for the Easter holidays today. Must make sure my brain keeps active.

Saturday April 11th
    First Quarter

    Nigel is dead lucky. His house is absolutely fantastic! Everything is modern. I don’t know what he must think of our house, some of our furniture is over a hundred years old!
    His bedroom is massive and he has got a stereo, a
colour
television, a tapedeck, a Scalextric track, an electric guitar and amplifier. Spotlights over his bed. Black walls and a white carpet and a racing car continental quilt. He has got loads of back issues
of Big and Bouncy
, so we looked through them, then Nigel had a cold shower while I cooked the soup and cut the French loaf. We had a good laugh at
Waiting for Godot
. Nigel had hysterics when I said that Vladimir and Estragon sounded like contraception pills.
    I had a go on Nigel’s racing bike. I now want onemore than anything in the world. If I had to choose between Pandora and a racing bike, I would choose the bike. Sorry, Pandora, but that’s how things are.
    We went to the chip shop and had the works. Fish, chips, pickled onions, gherkins, sloppy peas. Nothing was too expensive for Nigel, he gets loads of pocket money. We walked round for a bit then we came back and watched
The Bug-Eyed Monster Strikes Back
on the television. I said the bug-eyed monster reminded me of Mr Scruton the headmaster. Nigel had hysterics again. I think I have got quite a talent to