The School of Beauty and Charm Read Online Free PDF Page A

you know that. Says it makes him want to upchuck.”
    â€œBe sweet to him, Mother.”
    â€œPshaw. Y’all don’t know. Y’all don’t know how we do up here, honey. We just set and worry.”
    â€œI’d feel bad if that’s what I did all day long, too. Pick up the Bible. Read what Jesus tells you. That’s the part in red. Look at the
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I sent you. Get your mind off yourself.”
    â€œI reckon.”
    â€œDo you want to talk to your grandchildren? They’re right here, waiting to talk to you if you’ll stop that crying.”
    â€œI can’t hep it.”
    â€œHush. Here’s Roderick.” Roderick pushed me toward the phone.
    â€œHello?” I whispered.
    â€œSpeak up,” said Florida. “She’s old.”
    â€œY’all are sweet chirren,” said Grandmother Deleuth, crying softly. “Y’all be good to your mama. I guess I’ll be dead and gone before I see you again.”
    Florida took the phone. “Mother. I’m sending you a Billy Graham tape of positive thinking. Mother?” She shook the receiver, but it was Grandmother Deleuth’s habit to hang up a telephone when she had nothing left to say.
    F LORIDA DECIDED WE should pray for Henry.
    â€œDon’t get contrary on me this morning,” she said when Roderick and I made long faces. “It will only take a minute of your time. Grandmother is worrying me to death, and Henry is out in that tornado. Get down on your knees and say a prayer with me before I lose my ever-loving mind.”
    On my knees, with my hands folded and my head parallel to the kitchen floor, I could not help but notice the pink tail of our hamster, America the Beautiful, poking through the refrigerator grate. While Florida prayed, I kept one eye open, watching the tail twitch, disappear, and reappear. It was all I could do not to shout. However, for the sake of Henry, who was driving straight into a tornado, I kept quiet and squeezed both eyes shut.
    Florida prayed, “Lord, we need your help. Guide Henry to pull over on the side of the road. Don’t let him be too proud to stop. Let him obey you and do your will and not act stubborn.” She paused as she mentally lifted the Ford Galaxie 500 and turned it around to face home. Then she said, “In Jesus Christ’s name we pray. Amen.”
    When we opened our eyes, the sky had darkened, filling the kitchen with an eerie green glow.
    â€œAmerica the Beautiful is under the refrigerator,” I said importantly.
    â€œOh shoot,” said Florida. “I guess he got out when I cleaned his cage this morning.” She glanced away from Roderick’s stricken face. “No. We don’t have time to fool with that mouse this morning. The storm is coming.” When Roderick whimpered she drew her mouth into a firm line that made her look as old and fierce as Grandmother Deleuth. “I said no, and that is final.”
    A few minutes later, while Roderick and I waited at the top of the basement stairs with the picnic basket, Florida was on her knees in front of the refrigerator, holding a slice of American cheese and calling out the hamster’s name.
    By the time she returned with America the Beautiful captured in his exercise ball, Roderick pinned me against the wall by my hair. I could smell the cold, medicinal odor of the inhaler on his breath and feel his wheezing as if it were in my own chest. He punched me in the stomach.
    â€œSay it again!” he breathed into my face.
    â€œChildren!”
    â€œAlbino,” I whispered, wincing as his fist sank into my belly.
    â€œChildren, stop it! I’m going to take a switch to you both!”
    â€œI didn’t do anything,” said Roderick. “She’s an alcoholic.”
    â€œI’m going out there to cut me a switch. Who’s an alcoholic?”
    â€œI am not.”
    â€œShe drinks a bottle of vanilla extract a