The River Leith Read Online Free PDF Page A

it’s possibly significant that you had that outburst this morning after meeting him?”
    Leith looked back to study Dr. Thakur’s face, looking for a clue as to what he was missing. “Why? Is it significant? Should I think it is?”
    “That’s your call. I was simply curious.”
    Leith shrugged, and they sat in silence as he remembered the moments just before his rage that morning. Quietly, he said, “It isn’t just time or memories that I’m missing. I feel like I’ve lost who I am. Like, there’s this feeling that I’m a big, human-shaped lump of clay, and I’m somewhere inside it if I could just dig myself out. But I can’t remember who that person is supposed to be anymore.”
    Dr. Thakur didn’t say anything until Leith looked at him again. Then he spoke with a deep empathy that made Leith feel safe, like a small, well-liked child.
    “Leith, a lump of clay could be formed into almost anything by a person with skillful hands. If you remember your past, that might be a blessing, and it might not be. I couldn’t possibly judge that. What I know is that you’re the artist of your life, and you can mold this hunk of clay into anything you want. You don’t have to take anyone else into consideration, unless you want to do so.”
    Leith thought of the wing he’d been working on in art therapy — the way it had emerged so beautifully from the clay before the failure of his hands had been revealed, and it folded and broke under its own weight. “I’m not much of an artist,” he whispered.
    Dr. Thakur put his hand on Leith’s shoulder and shook him a little. “I think you’ll make it just fine. Just watch that you don’t throw your life against the wall too.”

    Zach didn’t come again after all. Instead Marian and Ava showed up with a basket of food and an excuse from Zach — something about a late night. But Marian didn’t met Leith’s eyes for the first few minutes after they arrived, which made his stomach hurt for some reason.
    “So, what did I used to do in my spare time?” Leith asked them, munching on the fresh grapes from the basket Zach had sent. His eyes occasionally strayed to the tops of Ava’s breasts on display in her v-neck sweater. They looked soft and reminded him of his mother’s chest, which he’d used as a pillow when he was still a tiny, sleepy child.
    Marian shrugged. “Mainly you and Zach would hang out. Sometimes we’d all play foosball or have a movie night, but you kept yourself busy with training.”
    “What did Zach and I do together?” Leith asked, wondering if they went camping or hiking. For some reason, Zach didn’t seem the type.
    Ava blinked rapidly for a moment, and caught Marian’s gaze. Then she smiled brightly. “You know, stuff. You talked. Joked a lot. That sort of thing. Can I have a grape?”
    “Sure,” Leith said, passing the fruit to her. He wanted to ask them more about Zach but he didn’t know what to say. “Zach seems like a really nice person.”
    “Yeah,” Marian said, stuffing a few grapes in her mouth too. “Super nice.”
    Leith thought about Zach’s smile and his eyes, and the sweet-spicy scent of his cologne. “He’s probably got a lot of friends.”
    “Zach sure never met a stranger,” Marian agreed.
    “That’s what I thought.” Leith sighed.
    Marian and Ava looked at each other, both of them stuffing more grapes into their mouths. Leith thought Ava in particular looked good with her mouth full, but he was distracted enough by their strange eyebrow-arching exchange that he didn’t let his thoughts go too far down that path.
    “What?”
    Ava chewed quickly, swallowed her mouthful of grapes, and said, “Oh! I just remembered…” She fished around in her purse and pulled out a flat, smooth cell phone. “Yours. Arthur said to give it to you.” She stood up and leaned against the bed, pressing the phone on. “See? It’s programmed already. From before.”
    She showed him the various functions, and Leith noted that