The Revelation Read Online Free PDF Page A

dumbfounded. “What did Jen say in her email?” I pull my phone
out from my pocket and frantically scroll through my inbox. And
there it is—an email from Jen. I quickly read it, doing my best to
see Jen’s message through Kat’s (batshit-crazy) eyes. “Oh, Jesus,”
I stammer. “No, no, no, Jen completely misunderstood me,” I
blurt. “I called to tell her I’m not interested in her—I swear to
God—that’s what I told her.”
    “Well, Jen sure seems to think you called to
‘suggest’ something along the lines of you ‘motorboating’ her
‘pretty titties’— again . ” Her nostrils flare. Her face
is bright red. She looks like a fucking fire-breathing dragon right
now.
    Shit. I look at Jen’s email again, my heart racing.
“Kat, no. I didn’t suggest a fucking thing. I told Jen I wasn’t
interested in her. I said I’m not in the market for a
relationship.”
    “Maybe you think that’s what you said to her,
but clearly you didn’t. Because she clearly thinks there’s still a
chance for something with you , Josh, and when it
comes to you, she’ll obviously take any little crumb she can get,
no matter how small and pitiful.”
    “Well, shit. Hang on. Lemme read it again.”
    “It makes me wonder if you’re ever completely honest
when it comes to women. Do you ever just tell it like it is? Or do
you always spin things to avoid hurt feelings—or maybe to keep your
motorboating-options open?”
    “Hang the fuck on, Kat. Jesus fucking Christ, you
demon-woman, lemme fucking look at it.”
    Kat presses her lips together and crosses her arms
over her chest, her eyes blazing. “I don’t mind a manwhore if he’s
honest about it—I really don’t—I mean, as long as he’s not running
around collecting baby-mommas or STD’s— but I absolutely cannot
stomach a goddamned liar. ”
    “Fuck, Kat. Would you shut the fuck up for a minute?
Jesus, you’re a fucking lunatic.” I look down at my phone and read
again while Kat silently fumes. “Okay, clearly there’s been a huge
misunderstanding,” I say when I’m done reading.
    “Don’t forget to take a peek at the photos she sent
you, too,” Kat says. “They’re super-duper awesome.”
    I’d be a fool to open those photos with Kat standing
right here, I know—but I do it, anyway. Why? Because, apparently,
I’m every bit the suicide-bomber she is.
    I open the first photo. It’s Jen and her famous mom,
their cheeks pressed together.
    “Yeah, so what?” I say. “Who cares if Jen’s mom
is—”
    “Open the second photo, Josh.”
    I roll my eyes and open the second photo. Oh. Wow.
Hello, Jen’s beautiful tits. Yeah, that woman’s got some gorgeous
tits, I must say. But so what? I look up at Kat, ready to tell her
she needs to take a chill-pill, and she’s absolutely seething with
jealousy. If she were a cartoon character, her skin would be green
and steam would be shooting out her ears.
    I stifle a grin, remembering Kat’s sexy little
speech about how she never, ever gets jealous. The girl is all
talk. I open my mouth to speak, but before I can say a goddamned
word, Kat launches into me again.
    “Do you always just tell women what they want to
hear, Josh? That’s what I wanna know. Which leads me to the
million-dollar question: Have you just been telling me what
I wanna hear?”
    My urge to smile vanishes. I throw up my hands,
suddenly enraged. “Gimme a break, Kat. I’ve been one hundred
percent honest with you and you know it.”
    “I’m not so sure. You keep telling me I’m ‘the most
beautiful woman you’ve ever been with’ and then I see you’ve been
with a freaking Victoria’s Secret ‘Angel.’”
    “So?” I ask.
    “So, then I know for a fact you’re just blowing
smoke up my butt.”
    “Oh my God. You’re pissed I said you’re more
beautiful than a Victoria’s Secret supermodel?” I take a deep
breath, trying to control my rising anger. “Why are you doing this?
I haven’t given you shit about Cameron