The Return of Retief Read Online Free PDF

waiting at all. I am he."
     
                Sid,
peering from behind his colleague's shoulder, stage-whispered, "Ha! He
don't look so tough. Charlie. Show him your badge."
     
                Shushing
his helper with a curt motion of his hand, Cruthers assumed a confidential
tone:
     
                "Actually,
Mr. Ambassador, as you yourself well know, sir, it would be a gross breach of
security, as well as of the letter of the Manual, sir, were I to divulge the
nature of the information I and Sid are delivering to the Undersecretary."
     
                "No
big deal, Charlie," said Sidesaddle smoothly, "just tip me as to what
I'm going to run into up there."
     
                "Well,
sir, since you've given me a direct order, I must of course defer to your
Excellency's exalted rank. Word just came in from Fringe HQ that Space Arm
reports no luck all across the board. They've been running a covert search and
destroy, and the only Ree units they've seen fired first. So—well, you can see,
sir, that leaves the ball in our park."
     
                "Our
chaps surrendered without a fight?" Colonel Trenchfoot butted in loudly,
netting a triple shussh! from the Ambassador plus the two inspectors.
     
                "Quiet,
Trenchfoot," the Ambassador added curtly. "Inasmuch as we know
nothing, officially, of the matter, it would be well if we refrained from
leaping to any conclusions pertaining thereto."
     
                "See?"
Sid said. "He did it again."
     
                Sidesaddle
stepped back, made Alphonse and Gaston motions.
     
                "Don't
let me delay you in performance of your duties, gentlemen," he said as if
for a Galactic teleview audience. "Magnan, gentlemen, don't block the
way."
     
                "Gee,
sir," Magnan blurted, "you don't think they've got the entry bugged,
do you?"
     
                "Not
unless security considerations render such a precaution advisable, in the
opinion of those gallant bureaucrats entrusted with responsibility for such
measures," Sidesaddle reassured his subordinate, plus anyone who might be
monitoring the bug.
     
                "Golly,
Ben," Hy Felix put in sympathetically, "His Excellency has got the
knack of not saying nothing down to a science, hey?" He wilted at a sharp
glance of rebuke from His Excellency.
     
                "Not
'nothing,' Hy," the great man pointed out glacially. "Just the
absolute minimum—so as to reduce the likelihood of leaking hot dope to enemy
spies, of course."
     
                "Well,
what now, gentlemen?" Sidesaddle addressed his underlings as the doors whoosh! edshut behind the inspectors. "It appears certain hotheads have assayed
a show of force, but failed to intimidate the insidious Ree. That," he
concluded with satisfaction, "leaves matters squarely up to diplomacy, in
its pure form. Now, we mustn't keep the Secretary waiting. So, shall we,
gentlemen?"
     
                Hy
Felix responded by hauling the big black glass door open for the others to file
through. Bringing up the rear, Magnan paused to mutter to the Information
attache.
     
                "One
almost wishes Retief were here, eh, Hy?" a gambit which netted him a sour
look from the former editor of the Caney, Kansas Poultryman 's Gazette.
     
                "But he ain't here, Ben," Hy grunted. "He's still taking wildlife census on
Icebox Nine or something, after that fiasco out on Furtheron, eh? We won't see
any more of him fer a while. Not that he'd make any difference: these here Ree
got the Forces buffaloed, and the Corps, too. Let's go on up and find out what
the Deep-Think teams have come up with."
     
     
2
     
                The
VIP conference room in which the historic Peace Strategy Council was to be held
was on the twelfth floor. Three banks of elevators discharged arriving
functionaries