The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya Read Online Free PDF Page A

could hear Asahina stuttering hesitantly.
    “Okay, everybody line up. Ah, ah…don’t push.”
    The job that Haruhi had strong-armed us into like a pushy salesman was to bring in customers at a local supermarket’s grand opening sale.
    We were assembled without knowing what was going on, stuffed into costumes without knowing what was going on, and forced to promote the supermarket starting at ten in the morning.
    I should mention that these were animal mascot costumes.
    Seriously, I don’t get it. Why do I have to wear this thing? Isn’t it Asahina’s job to wear different costumes…? Hey, Koizumi and Nagato! You should also complain! Why are you following her orders in silence?
    “Please line up. I’m begging you!”
    I could hear Asahina, clad in green, stumble over her words as I sweat like a pig.
    We were dressed as frogs. And our job was to hand children balloons. Apparently this was a special event that was part of the annual celebration to commemorate the original grand opening. Any customers who brought their families would receive free balloons.
    Only kids could ever get excited over a little freebie like this. Hey, brat with the stupid look on your face. I’ll give you this red balloon. There you go.
    Asahina the tree frog was especially popular. Incidentally, Koizumi was a black-spotted pond frog and I was a toad. We didn’t have any choice. Nagato, dressed as a Surinam horned frog, used the pump to inflate balloons for the three of us to pass out while Haruhi stayed cool indoors in her regular clothes. There’s gonna be mutiny if she’s paid the same as the rest of us.
    Apparently the owner of the store was an acquaintance of Haruhi’s. He’d smiled when Haruhi walked up to him and said, “Hey, old-timer.”
    After two hours of hard work, the balloons ran out and everybody besides Haruhi headed to a storeroom-like area to remove the excess garments. Now I know how it feels for a snake to shed its skin. I’ve rarely ever felt so relieved the past few years.
    Nagato walked out with an aloof expression, but Asahina, Koizumi, and I were dripping with sweat as we slid out of the frog suits and remained silent for a while.
    “Whew—”
    I no longer had the energy to carefully observe Asahina in her flimsy tank top and short skirt.
    “Good work.”
    When Haruhi showed up eating ice cream, I seriously wanted to bury her up to her neck in a hot desert.
    And as a finishing blow, our pay came in the form of that tree frog costume. Based on Haruhi’s nonchalant revelation, this had been her goal from the very beginning. She held the thin discarded green frog disguise under her arm as though she were a general who had just been awarded one hundred pounds of gold. Our well-deserved pay never existed to begin with.
    “What’s wrong with that? I’ve wanted this for a long time. My wish has been granted. The old-timer said he’d give it to me for Mikuru’s sake. Mikuru, I’ll award you a special handmade medal. I haven’t made it yet though, so hang on.”
    One more piece of garbage to add to Asahina’s belongings. It’ll probably be an armband with the word “medal” written on it.
    But.
    “I’ll stick this frog in the clubroom as a souvenir. Mikuru, feel free to wear this whenever you want. I give you permission!”
    I couldn’t bring myself to feel angry after seeing the look on Haruhi’s face.
       
    I was completely exhausted. After constant activity day and night between the pool, insect collecting, and sauna à la giant costume, any perfectly healthy high school boy would be on his last legs.
    Thus I was sound asleep that night in a tranquil dreamland until my cell phone began to ring.
    Nothing pisses me off more than being woken up in the middle of the night by a pointless phone call. It’s an unreasonable time to call other people, and Haruhi was the only person I knew who was irrational enough to do such a thing, so I was fully prepared to yell at her as I pressed the Talk button on