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and shook it. His fingernails were very neat. He had useful-looking shoulders, like he could throw a damsel over them if it was required. I just kind of stood there thinking about that until he asked if ‘Kate was around’.
    â€˜Oh. Yeah. She’s just … She’s just running a bit late. Which is funny because I’m usually the one that’s running late, but Mum and Dad took ages to go and, I mean, she won’t be long, or anything. She just can’t find her shoes, I think …’ I was torn between wanting Katie to show up so I would stop talking, and hoping that she had somehow bumped her head and had knocked herself unconscious and therefore would never come out of her room. Leaving me to make more witty conversation with Jensen. I wondered if he was a painter. Decided he probably was. Or a musician. Maybe both.
    â€˜What are you up to tonight?’ Jensen asked. Still smiling. He had very white teeth. Very straight.
    â€˜Me? Oh. Um. Yeah, I’m going to some party … somewhere.’
    â€˜Do you need a ride?’
    â€˜What? No! No, um, Charlotte’s picking me up. My friend, Charlotte.’
    â€˜No worries. We’re heading up to The Gearin. There’s a gig on. A mate’s band.’
    I nodded like I knew what The Gearin was.
    â€˜Don’t know if they’re any good,’ he laughed. ‘Have to pretend they are either way.’
    â€˜Yeah, ha! Awkward.’
    â€˜Okay, you can stop talking now, Hannah.’ Katie. Smelling of lilac and jasmine. Her hair pulled up in a loose knot. Earrings I had never seen before.
    â€˜Well, hello,’ Jensen said.
    â€˜Hello.’
    Katie looked at me with an expression that said ‘your job here is done, why are you still standing there?’
    â€˜Okay. Well, see you, guys,’ I managed. ‘Nice to meet you, Jensen.’ I sounded like our mother, or more accurately, grandmother.
    â€˜You too, Hannah.’
    Katie took his hand, led him off down the path. I closed the door. Remembered an hour later that I hadn’t eaten anything and the pizza was still in the freezer.
    ***
    I dream that Katie and I are in the car, our old car that got smashed up in the accident. I am driving and Katie is in the passenger seat. We move through a barren paddock with lions roaming around in it. The car looks like it did after the accident, crushed on the passenger side. I am afraid to stop driving, in case the lions get in. Katie is talking to me about a quiz show she is going on, she wants me to ask her practice questions, but I can’t concentrate because I’m too worried about the lions. I glance over my shoulder and see another Katie, dead in the back seat. Her face all made up the way it was at the funeral parlour.
    When I wake up my arms and legs are slippery with sweat. Sleep tries to creep back over me and I know that if I fall back again the dream will continue. I pinch the skin of my inner forearm. Harder, harder. I twist the lip of flesh until my eyes are wide. It’s very early morning, an occasional bird call sounds. Outside my window the morning light is warm and milky. I get out of bed, go out into the kitchen and fill a glass with tepid tap water. There is a coughing sound in the lounge room, which is when I first discover that my dad has been sleeping on the couch. He must sense me enter the room because he opens his eyes, stretches, frowns at me.
    â€˜Jeez, you’re up early, Han,’ he says, rubbing his face.
    â€˜Why are you sleeping out here?’
    â€˜What? Oh, ah, couldn’t sleep. Didn’t want to keep your mum awake tossing and turning all night.’
    â€˜I was just going to watch some TV. But if you want, I’ll just go back to bed.’
    Dad shakes his head. ‘No, no, you’re right. Go ahead. I’m gonna take a shower.’ He gets up slowly, using his arm to brace himself against the back of the lounge. It’s the moment any