slower.”
“Why don’t you listen faster?”
“What?”
“Listen faster.”
“Oh, right. Very good.”
Rachel nodded enthusiastically but Brian got the impression that she didn’t understand him.
“You have nice boobs,” he said.
“Yeah.”
“Me and my brother live in this great house just up the road from here. You want to come home with me? We can have coffee or sandwiches or something. We have a nice bit of ham. You country girls like a nice bit of ham.”
“Did you just call me a cunt?”
The horrible word sounded even worse coming from her pretty mouth.
“No,” Brian said. “I said country.”
“Oh, sorry, you’re a little hard to understand. Do you have a speech impediment?”
“Ach, I’m just pissed.”
“That’s good. I don’t like people with speech impediments. They’re too much effort to talk to, you know?”
“I think you’re a little pissed too.”
Then Rachel leaned over the table to kiss him and confirmed Brian’s suspicion. She tried to stick her tongue in his eye. It wasn’t an entirely unpleasant experience.
Brian and Rachel
Brian always said that there was no way to avoid a hangover, unless you avoided alcohol. He also said that the only thing that made a hangover seem worth it, even at its worst, was the smell of sex in your room and a stranger in your bed.
This morning’s hangover had been blessed with both. Blurred flashbacks replayed the drunken, naked fumble in Brian’s mind and he smiled.
He pulled open the top drawer of his bedside cabinet and found his breath mints. Fresh breath always increased the chances of a morning shag. When he finished the mint he tried to remember the brown-haired girl’s name. He couldn’t.
“Hey, sexy,” he said. “I’ve been up for hours, and I’m not talking about being awake.”
She opened her eyes to reveal icy blue irises and tried to focus on Brian’s face. She didn’t seem too disappointed when her pupils adjusted.
“I’m too sick for another shag,” she said. “All the bumping and jumping would make me puke.”
“Nothing that an Alka Seltzer and a round of dry toast wouldn’t cure.”
“That sounds like a plan.”
Brian knew his Sunday morning sex had just gone out the window. It had to happen before breakfast. The opportunity was usually lost as soon as the girl found her knickers. He shouldn’t have offered her anything.
“Have you seen my knickers?” she asked.
“Yeah, they were sexy as hell.”
“No, I mean, do you know where they are?”
“I think they’re out in the hall. We were caught in a moment of high passion, if I remember correctly.”
“You said I wouldn’t get pregnant if we did it standing up in the hall.”
“I wasn’t lying.”
“You had a condom and I’m on the pill.”
“You can’t be too safe.”
“You’re an eejit.”
She sat up in the bed and the blanket fell away from her small but perfect breasts. Her nipples stiffened in the morning chill. Brian’s heart fluttered.
“I’ll just go get my knickers,” she said. “Can I borrow a T-shirt or something? I don’t want to give your brother an eyeful.”
He pointed to a crumpled heap of cloth on the floor. “Grab that one, sure.”
Rachel’s side of the bed had been crammed against the wall so she had to climb over Brian to get out. She threw a leg over him and tried to slide-crawl over his body. Her smooth skin was warm and soft against Brian’s. Her pubic mound brushed against his erection. Belly to belly she paused, her expression devilish.
“You are so fucking sexy,” Brian said.
“You know what? I feel a little better. Maybe breakfast can wait.”
Paul and Karen
Paul rooted through Karen’s purse. She snored. He thought he was on to a sure thing when he’d taken her to his room the night before. She fell asleep with her nipple in his mouth. Paul would never describe himself as a gentleman, but he wasn’t a rapist. He lifted her drunken body from the bed and
“Why don’t you listen faster?”
“What?”
“Listen faster.”
“Oh, right. Very good.”
Rachel nodded enthusiastically but Brian got the impression that she didn’t understand him.
“You have nice boobs,” he said.
“Yeah.”
“Me and my brother live in this great house just up the road from here. You want to come home with me? We can have coffee or sandwiches or something. We have a nice bit of ham. You country girls like a nice bit of ham.”
“Did you just call me a cunt?”
The horrible word sounded even worse coming from her pretty mouth.
“No,” Brian said. “I said country.”
“Oh, sorry, you’re a little hard to understand. Do you have a speech impediment?”
“Ach, I’m just pissed.”
“That’s good. I don’t like people with speech impediments. They’re too much effort to talk to, you know?”
“I think you’re a little pissed too.”
Then Rachel leaned over the table to kiss him and confirmed Brian’s suspicion. She tried to stick her tongue in his eye. It wasn’t an entirely unpleasant experience.
Brian and Rachel
Brian always said that there was no way to avoid a hangover, unless you avoided alcohol. He also said that the only thing that made a hangover seem worth it, even at its worst, was the smell of sex in your room and a stranger in your bed.
This morning’s hangover had been blessed with both. Blurred flashbacks replayed the drunken, naked fumble in Brian’s mind and he smiled.
He pulled open the top drawer of his bedside cabinet and found his breath mints. Fresh breath always increased the chances of a morning shag. When he finished the mint he tried to remember the brown-haired girl’s name. He couldn’t.
“Hey, sexy,” he said. “I’ve been up for hours, and I’m not talking about being awake.”
She opened her eyes to reveal icy blue irises and tried to focus on Brian’s face. She didn’t seem too disappointed when her pupils adjusted.
“I’m too sick for another shag,” she said. “All the bumping and jumping would make me puke.”
“Nothing that an Alka Seltzer and a round of dry toast wouldn’t cure.”
“That sounds like a plan.”
Brian knew his Sunday morning sex had just gone out the window. It had to happen before breakfast. The opportunity was usually lost as soon as the girl found her knickers. He shouldn’t have offered her anything.
“Have you seen my knickers?” she asked.
“Yeah, they were sexy as hell.”
“No, I mean, do you know where they are?”
“I think they’re out in the hall. We were caught in a moment of high passion, if I remember correctly.”
“You said I wouldn’t get pregnant if we did it standing up in the hall.”
“I wasn’t lying.”
“You had a condom and I’m on the pill.”
“You can’t be too safe.”
“You’re an eejit.”
She sat up in the bed and the blanket fell away from her small but perfect breasts. Her nipples stiffened in the morning chill. Brian’s heart fluttered.
“I’ll just go get my knickers,” she said. “Can I borrow a T-shirt or something? I don’t want to give your brother an eyeful.”
He pointed to a crumpled heap of cloth on the floor. “Grab that one, sure.”
Rachel’s side of the bed had been crammed against the wall so she had to climb over Brian to get out. She threw a leg over him and tried to slide-crawl over his body. Her smooth skin was warm and soft against Brian’s. Her pubic mound brushed against his erection. Belly to belly she paused, her expression devilish.
“You are so fucking sexy,” Brian said.
“You know what? I feel a little better. Maybe breakfast can wait.”
Paul and Karen
Paul rooted through Karen’s purse. She snored. He thought he was on to a sure thing when he’d taken her to his room the night before. She fell asleep with her nipple in his mouth. Paul would never describe himself as a gentleman, but he wasn’t a rapist. He lifted her drunken body from the bed and
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