The Paler Shade of Autumn Read Online Free PDF Page A

with, the loss of his parents, home life and livelihood, can consider himself in a high enough state of mind and emotion to lend Jet, a stranger, a nobody, his happiness?
    In that little boy’s smile, Jet finds an answer—every ounce of happiness in his life can be found from within and is created by him, not by the material universe and what he has and has not. He had forgotten how lucky he is and has been reminded by an orphan child’s contagious smile. Jet decides he is not going home and that he will help this young woman at the orphanage for as long as it takes. With this decision, Jet finds happiness.
    The next image swirls through and it is of herself: her subtle look of concentration as she holds Jet’s hand. She can feel Jet’s curiosity and concern. There are also other emotions which surprise Autumn—affinity, attraction, need. He likes the way her hand feels in his. He likes the gentle blush on her cheeks. He likes her silky white, smooth skin, soft pink lips, the rounded mounds of her breasts. He had forgotten lust, until now.
    She lets go of his hand, keeping her eyes intentionally downcast until she is sure the heat from her cheeks has receded.
    “What happened there?” he asks after silence carries on for longer than his patience will allow.
    “You told me about your life,” she says.
    He crinkles his eyes, disbelieving. “I never said a word.”
    “You didn’t have to.”
    He glimpses down at his hand. She knows he is drawing the connection, filling in the blanks, how she is able to see what he sees. “What did I tell you?” he asks.
    Autumn explains what she saw. She doesn’t fill him in on the last images she was privy to, though.
    Jet doesn’t speak for a long time; mouth slightly parted in surprise, or is it shock? He shakes his head and blinks rapidly. “You saw all that from touching my hand?”
    She nods.
    “That’s unbelievable.”
    She gives a single snort of air. “For you it’s unbelievable. For me, it’s an undeniable reality.”
    “You were holding my hand for no longer than five seconds tops, and you saw all that?”
    “It’s an instantaneous exchange.”
    “What did the old woman show you?”
    She shakes her head. “I can’t. I can’t. I don’t want to think about it.”
    “That bad?”
    “Worse. I have never seen anything like that in my whole life, ever.”
    Jet nods his head and then shakes it. “It’s fascinating. To see all about Darshan…”
    “That’s the little boy’s name? Darshan?”
    “Yeah. He’s a gorgeous little thing.”
    “I could see he had you the moment he looked at you.”
    Jet smiles. “You know, I had been sitting under that friggin’ tree for six days,” he says nodding towards the temple grounds where the Bodhi tree stands. “Meditating and thinking and swearing, trying to find what that little boy gave me in a second.”
    “Happiness?”
    Jet nods his head and says, “Well, yes. But something more like clarity .” He brings his knees up to his chest and rests his arms loosely on his knees. “We don’t know anything about who Darshan’s dad was and we assume his mum had died many months before he was sent to our orphanage. A monk found him begging for food out the front gates. He had been fending for himself for God knows how long. I don’t even want to imagine what could have or had happened to him over that time. Still, he seems well adjusted enough.”
    “Are there are a lot of kids like Darshan?”
    “Unfortunately, yes. That’s why the monks set up the orphanage. They noticed a lot of the children hanging around the gates of the temple begging for food and money.”
    “It’s a very noble thing you’re doing, working at the orphanage.”
    “Hardly noble. I had no choice but to stay here. Once I saw what these kids have had to contend with, I couldn’t go back home to Australia.”
    “Still, it must be hard, day in day out, being a young man and all.”
    Jet smiles a crooked smile. “There’s more to life