The Ordinary Princess Read Online Free PDF Page A

house has ever before failed to make a brilliant marriage. And,” added the King, looking fiercer than ever, “we are not going to start now!” He raised his fist to thump on the table, thought better of it, and glowered at his councillors instead.
    There was a lot more silence.
    “Well?” demanded the King again. “Well? Well?”
    “If I might make a suggestion, Your Majesty,” said the Lord High Chamberlain nervously, “could we not try the effect of a ... er ... dragon?”
    “On whom?” inquired the King, puzzled.
    “Er ... on the suitors, Your Majesty. It has sometimes proved very useful in the case of—er—er—not very attractive young damsels,” he finished hurriedly.
    “Explain yourself,” ordered the King sternly.
    “Well, Your Majesty knows what romantic minds these young princes have, so suppose we hired a dragon to—to lay waste the countryside—?” (Here the Minister of Public Safety looked alarmed and the Minister for Agriculture and Fishery was heard to protest.) “We might then imprison Her Royal Highness in a tower and send out a proclamation to say that any prince who slew the dragon should be rewarded by the princess’s hand in marriage. I venture to think, Your Majesty,” said the Lord High Chamberlain more nervously than ever, “that this might have the—er—desired effect. Provided, of course, that Her Highness was kept—er—out of sight as it were,” finished the Lord High Chamberlain rapidly.
    “How can you say such a thing? Oh, my poor child!” wailed the Queen, taking a long sniff at her smelling salts. But the King suddenly sat up straight with a wild look in his eye.
    “I believe there’s something in it,” said the King.
    The Council brightened visibly, and the Lord High Chamberlain tried hard to look modest. “To think,” said the King, “that after all these years, one of my councillors should actually have had an idea. You,” said the King, pointing at the Prime Minister, “will see to it at once that a special committee is formed to carry out the project. We will require a Minister in Charge of Hiring a Suitable Dragon and a subcommittee for drawing up the draft of a suitably worded proclamation. And you, my dear,” said the King turning to his Queen, “will please see to it that Amy retires to a secluded tower and remains there, out of sight, until this affair reaches a happy conclusion.”
    The King rubbed his hands together and beamed cheerily at the relieved Council. “A capital scheme!” he said. “I’ve yet to hear of a prince who could resist the chance of killing a dragon. Some silly young nitwit is sure to come charging up to slay the creature, and then,” said the King, “we’ll have him! He simply can’t turn the girl down after that. And anyway,” finished the King cheerfully, “he won’t see her until it’s too late!”
    “But what about Rubarbary?” inquired the Queen at this point.
    “Eh?” said the King.
    “Her Majesty means His Royal Highness the Grand Duke Reginald of Rubarbary,” put in the Prime Minister helpfully. “Perhaps Your Majesty forgets that His Highness arrives this afternoon for the express purpose of seeing Her Highness the Princess with a view to matrimony?”
    “Tcha!” said the King. “We all know perfectly well by this time what will happen as soon as he lays eyes on her.” He scratched his chin and looked thoughtful. “I suppose,” said the King hopefully, “we couldn’t say that she had a chill and see if he’d make an offer for her hand without seeing her?”
    “I fear, Sire, that such a ruse would only cause His Highness to prolong his visit until he did see her,” said the Prime Minister.
    “Perhaps you’re right,” said the King. “Well, as we can’t possibly produce any dragons by this afternoon, we’d better give Amy one more chance of getting off without one. And if the Grand Duke remembers a previous appointment after seeing her, then we’ll try this dragon scheme of