The Old Jest Read Online Free PDF Page A

‘Harry,’ she breathed.
    â€˜Well … ah … yes … ah … isn’t it lucky we came. Isn’t it, Nancy?’
    â€˜Oh, Nancy.’
    â€˜Hello,’ said Nancy.
    Maeve and Harry smiled at each other. They didn’t notice the long silence that surrounded their smiling faces, pushing them closer and closer together. An angry pulse knocked inside Nancy’s forehead. The flowers stretched complacently in the raked damp earth. No snails here to munch the leaves, leave silver trails along the paths. Nancy looked with irritation at her right big toe, which was pushing its way untidily through the toe of her shoe.
    â€˜My blooming feet are still growing,’ she said aloud. The smiling stopped.
    â€˜Pardon?’ asked Maeve.
    â€˜Oh, nothing really … just my huge evergrowing feet … nothing interesting … nothing …’
    â€˜It’s her birthday,’ explained Harry. ‘She’s eighteen.’
    â€˜How gorgeous!’ said Maeve, transferring the smile to Nancy. ‘You don’t look eighteen. Does she, Harry? I’d have got you a present if I’d known.’ She leant forward and dropped a scented kiss on to Nancy’s cheek. ‘Gorgeous! No more school. Next thing she’ll be getting married. Won’t she, Harry? Come in. It’s cold after the rain. I’ll get you a present next week. Better late than never, that’s a promise. What did you give her, Harry?’
    She led them through the French windows into the drawing room. It was an extension of the garden. Wherever you looked, flowers seemed to be climbing, twisting, bursting, in ordered profusion. Only the white concert grand piano, drawn across one corner of the room, was free from them.
    â€˜Well, actually, nothing yet. I didn’t really know in time. Forgot. I’m hopeless about that sort of thing. Hopeless. What would you like, Nancy?’
    â€˜Yes, Nancy, what would you like?’
    â€˜I don’t really …’
    â€˜I insist,’ said Harry. ‘Absolutely insist.’
    â€˜There must be something …’ said Maeve.
    Nancy considered the matter.
    â€˜Anything?’
    â€˜Within reason of course.’
    â€˜Of course,’ agreed Nancy.
    â€˜Nancy would never take advantage,’ said Maeve.
    Maeve and Harry smiled at each other again as Nancy considered.
    â€˜I’d like to go to the Abbey. Would you take me to the Abbey?’
    â€˜By all means.’
    â€˜What a gorgeous idea! May I come too? Please may I come?’
    â€˜Of course,’ said Harry, charmed with the idea.
    â€˜You wouldn’t mind, would you, Nancy?’
    â€˜Why should I mind?’ Nancy bared her teeth at them both.
    â€˜Well now, isn’t that lovely? Harry will arrange it all and we’ll all have a lovely evening. Gorgeous.’
    â€˜Gorgeous,’ said Nancy.
    â€˜So we’ll celebrate now with a glass of sherry. You could have whisky, Harry, if you prefer, but Nancy and I will …’
    She moved towards the door.
    â€˜I’ll give you a hand.’
    â€˜Really no need.’ But she smiled into his face and they left the room together.
    Nancy sat down with a thump on the blossoming sofa.
    Why did I come?
    Because he wanted to come. He was visibly dying to come. He wouldn’t have had the gumption to come on his own.
    They don’t want me here.
    No. Only needed your presence to get them through the first smile.
    Now. Are they touching hands in the other room? Palm to palm is holy palmer’s kiss.
    Why do I prefer the inimical seagulls to this amiable girl?
    Why does he …?
    Laughter from the next room.
    Prefer …
    Palm to palm.
    Her.
    The clink of glasses almost touching.
    To … to …
    The room smelled of floor polish and sweet drooping roses.
    I find myself a pain in the neck.
    She stood up.
    â€˜I must go home now.’ She inclined her head graciously towards the