The Merchant of Venice Beach Read Online Free PDF Page A

head, a gesture that Suzanna used to find endearing but that now aggravated her.
Why can’t I have any privacy?
Since Suzanna had no idea what she had pulled up, she looked at the screen, too. She blinked in fascination as she found herself looking at a lip plumper that worked in seven seconds.
“I’m looking at a lip plumper that works in seven seconds,” she said casually.
“Hell, Suzanna,” Eric said. “I wish you would just accept the fact that you’re fine. You’re fine. You don’t need plumper lips. Or stronger nails. Or shinier hair.”
“Don’t listen to him,” said Fernando. “Let’s have a look . . .”
Fernando let out a snort.
“Oh. My. God. Suzanna! This is too fantastic! How did you hear about this?”
“I just . . . stumbled on it.”
Suzanna had randomly landed on a creation that would give a person lips that looked as if she had been stung by a thousand bees. Not only that, but its “secret ingredient” was also used in products that promised penile enlargement. Apparently the inventor of the lip plumper decided that the skin on her lips was very similar to the skin on a penis, so she wondered if her lips would grow if she created a serum using the same ingredients, and voilà! Pouty Enhancer was born.
“Her lips are similar to the skin of a penis?” Eric said. “That’s a pretty gross comparison.”
“Speak for yourself,” Fernando said.
Although the inventor’s story went on and on, with words like pulsating and swelling, she swore her lips actually grew. Suzanna sat smoldering in embarrassment at the computer. Eric continued to look perplexed while Fernando had tears in his eyes, he was so amused by the copy.
“I’m not sure I want my penis to feel as if it’s been stung by a thousand bees,” Fernando said.
“This isn’t about your penis, Fernando,” Suzanna said.
“Darling, it so very rarely is, these days,” he said.
“OK, I’m done here,” Eric said. He tended to be the most reticent of the three to start comparing sex and love-life details. “I’ll order the pizza.”
“Oh, no, you don’t,” Fernando said as he took off after Eric. “Last time you ordered whole-wheat crust. That’s a sacrilege!”
Suzanna took a deep breath and went back to looking at dance shoes as soon as the boys were gone—but not until she had purchased two Pouty Enhancers.

CHAPTER 3
Suzanna was in a panic. After several futile attempts at finding shoes online, it became clear she was never going to have enough alone time to really investigate the subject properly. All the research she did manage just brought about more questions, not fewer, and Suzanna had to admit that she really needed some expert help in finding the right shoes. Now her first salsa lesson was looming, and she had somehow not managed to find the time to go to Dante’s Dancewear. She didn’t know exactly what she wanted, but she knew she couldn’t show up at the studio in the “wrong” shoes . . . whatever that meant!
Slipping away from the Bun as soon as the afternoon tea crowd had settled down, Suzanna pointed her Smart Car toward Westwood Boulevard, where Dante’s Dancewear beckoned. Suzanna walked quietly into the store, ready to appear confident and assured. After all, she didn’t know everything, but she knew she wanted character shoes.
“You don’t want character shoes,” said the stone-faced skeleton behind the counter.
It was at times like these that Suzanna remembered why she never left her comfort zone. When she was managing the Bun or hanging out with Fernando and Eric, curveballs like this were never hurled at her. Now, little self-doubts pricked at her like tiny toothpicks, but she pulled herself together, arched an eyebrow, and breathed, “. . . Oh?”
“A character shoe has a leather sole. You want a suede sole for classes.”
“Oh.” She paused emphatically. And then, because she couldn’t stand not knowing, she added, “Why?”
“The suede glides on the wood floor,” the skeleton