The Memory Thief Read Online Free PDF

prone to talking about the big peaks as if they’ve got a will of their own, a notion that Aidan dismisses as New Age bullshit and I find alternately enchanting and ominous. He says a prayer to the spirits of the mountain every time he climbs, for clemency.
    â€œWhat’s the matter?” I ask Gabe again, rubbing my arms to chase the goose bumps away.
    â€œDaddy,” is all he says. His teeth chatter.
    â€œDaddy what? Did you have a bad dream?” I open my arms and pull him onto the bed. “It’s fine, I’m here. Don’t worry.” I pet his hair, and he curls against me. “You’re freezing, buddy. And your feet are wet. Did you have an accident?”
    â€œNo,” he says. “Daddy was here. In my room.”
    â€œDon’t be silly. You know Daddy’s on Mount McKinley. You had a dream, that’s all. But he’ll be home soon.” I rub his arms to warm him up. Poor little guy. He’s missing Aidan, I know he is. There’s a Father’s Day party next week at his preschool, right before they let out for the summer. I could tell he was disappointed that Aidan was going to miss it, even though he pretended that it was fine. “Just two more Tuesdays, right?”
    I tell him, since we’ve been counting the days on the calendar until his daddy will come home.
    He snuggles against me, under the patchwork quilt my mother made for us after we got married. “Mommy, something happened to Daddy on the mountain,” he says in his smallest voice. “He’s not coming home.”
    The certainty in his voice gives me chills, and I don’t say anything for a minute. I can’t; it’s too close to what I’ve been thinking since Aidan told me about the McKinley trip. I thought we’d done a good job of keeping our disagreement from Gabriel. Obviously, I was wrong. “That’s a terrible thing to say, buddy,” I say. “Why would you say something like that?”
    Fear makes my voice tight, angry. But before I can apologize, Gabe starts to cry.
    â€œI saw him in my room. He was all snowy. He left a puddle on the floor.”
    I feel like a terrible person, taking my fear out on a four-year-old. “You had a bad dream, that’s all. I know it’s scary when Daddy’s away. Mama gets scared, too. But your daddy’s a good climber. He’ll be home in just a little bit and then he won’t be going away again for a long time.” I force myself to sound calm, like I know what I’m talking about. Madeleine the Oracle, that’s me. Emotional Sherpa to the Discontented, as Aidan used to say.
    He hides his face in my hair. “My room was cold,” he says into my neck. “I stepped in the puddle.”
    I hold him away from me, looking into his face. He stares back at me, still and stubborn. “Gabriel, it was a dream. A nightmare. We’ll call Daddy tomorrow and you’ll see he’s fine. You want to stay in here with me? You and Teddy can sleep right here, on Daddy’s pillow.”
    He shakes his head back and forth. Now he is crying in earnest. “Something’s wrong,” he says. “Something bad happened to Daddy on the mountain.”
    I am going to kill Aidan when he gets back. I am going to kill him. “Stop it, Gabe,” I say. “You can’t know that. You had a dream, that’s all. Sometimes they feel like they’re real, but they’re not. Daddy is fine. Nothing is going to happen to him. He told you that himself, before he left. Does Daddy lie?”
    â€œHe didn’t lie,” Gabe whispers. “He just didn’t know.” Tears drip down his chin and onto poor abused Teddy.
    We regard each other in the light from the lamp. His eyes are wide. The house is quiet, save for his breathing, choky with tears, and mine, scared and quick. He shakes.
    Then the phone rings, breaking the silence to bits, and everything goes wrong for