The Lost Blogs Read Online Free PDF

normal:
    Me: “
Hello
.”
    My Dog: “
Why, hello George
.”
    Me: “
Well, aren’t you in a good mood today
.”
    My Dog: “
Why, yes George. I am
.”
    Me: “
Any particular reason why?
”
    My Dog: “
Well, I’ve decided to run for Prime Minister of England
.”
    Me: “
Is that so
.”
    My Dog: “
Why yes, it is
.”
    Me: “
Well let me be the first person to congratulate you for the thought
.”
    My Dog: “
Well now you’re just being condescending
.”
    Me: “
How so?
”
    My Dog: “
You allude to the fact that you believe that a dog can’t be Prime Minister
.”
    Me: “
What did I say to make you infer such a ludicrous thought?
”
    My Dog: “‘
Let me be the first person… to congratulate you.’ You emphasized the word ‘person’ as if a nonperson can’t be Prime Minister
.”
    Me: “
I think your questionable lack of self-confidence is projecting
.”
    My Dog: “
Don’t start with your babble-talk, George
.”
    Me: “
Me, babble-talk?
”
    My Dog: “
You could just support my decision and leave well enough alone
.”
    Me: “
Oh?
”
    My Dog: “
I have many changes I plan on making when I take on my new leadership position
.”
    Me: “
Anything you can share?
”
    My Dog: “
Well– Aaah, ha! I see what you’re doing
.”

    Me: “
What?
”
    My Dog: “
Lull your dog into a false sense of security, encourage your dog who will someday be Prime Minister to discuss his political
     platform, then use such information to have said dog whisked away and never heard from again
.”
    Me: “
You’re over-thinking
.”
    My Dog: “
Oh, am I?
”
    Me: “
How about a bone?
”
    My Dog: “
A bone?
”
    Me: “
Yes, a bone
.”
    My Dog: “
Yeah, a bone would be really nice
.”
    Me: “
I’ll go get it for you, just hang on
.”
    My Dog: “
Mind if I lick myself here while I’m waiting?
”
    Me: “
No, not at all
.”

From: http://www.blogs.es/~christophercolumbus/blog.html
    Subject: The Quest Continues…
    Having found myself with more hours in the day than I know what to do with, I decided it would be worth updating my blog so
     those following our journey to the Indies since we left Palos on August 3 would have something to consult until official word
     of our arrival found its way back to Spain.
    If you haven’t kept up on what I’ve blogged about over the last twenty days, you can read my previous entries here , here , here , here , here , here , here , here , here , here , here , here , here , here , here , here , here , here , here , and here . Or I can save you the time and tell you that we have seen… nothing . Wave after wave obstructs the same view over and over again—that of the horizon. Therefore, it has given me time to thoughtfully
     explore other subject matter that affects my mood and demeanor.
    Yes. Let’s talk about the
Niña
, again.
    It’s important that I explain all the thoughts in my head on the subject (which I have explored for twenty previous entries
     as well, as there has been nothing else to think about). I command three ships filled with men. We are explorers, sailors
     and such. There has never been nor will there ever be a little girl on any of my ships so why then name one of these wooden
     giants “the little girl”?
    The
Pinta
or “painted one” and the
Santa María
(which, yes, was originally referred to as “Dirty Mary”) are masculine and make total sense for a journey such as this. But
     “little girl”? Little girl!?
    Yes, I do have a lot of spare time on my hands. Yes, I often spend the daylight hours simply drafting our course, making sure
     we’re staying the course, rechecking the course again, announcing to others that yes, we’re still on course and then making
     lists of alternative names for the
Niña
. Here are some that I have come up with over the last twenty days that, I believe, instill respect, honor and fear into those
     who might come across our bow.

    Serpiente (or, Snake)
    Tiburón (or, Shark)
    Astilla (or,