The Long Cosmos Read Online Free PDF

was trapped in New Springfield. The new version remembers me, our life together. But he was never my Lobsang. And anyway he’s gone missing.’
    It had been years since Joshua had been in touch with any iteration of Lobsang. ‘What, again?’
    â€˜Selena Jones at transEarth says he’s retreated into some kind of virtual environment, where he feels “safe”. I’ve no desire to know where, just now. Of course while his identity – I hesitate to use the word “soul” – has been removed, his outer functions are working just fine. Which is just as well for the fabric of the human world.’
    â€˜This is a pattern, isn’t it, Agnes?’
    â€˜It seems to be. He’s fine for a while, then there’s some kind of build-up of stress, and he retreats into a shell – just like when he played at being a farmer in New Springfield. And then the cycle starts all over again. Well.’
    â€˜Is this goodbye, Agnes?’
    â€˜It doesn’t have to be. Oh, it’s all so silly, Joshua! You’re not Daniel Boone, and you never were. You were just a boy who needed some space—’
    â€˜There’s something out there calling me back, Agnes,’ he blurted. ‘I don’t have a choice.’
    She studied him. ‘I remember the words you used as a child. The Silence . That’s back, is it? You know, I wondered if that might be going on, when I read all those silly news reports about the SETI signal they picked up. If all the oddness might be connected somehow. After all, it usually is.’ She sighed. ‘I often wish Monica Jansson was still around. Now there was a woman who could speak to that side of you better than I ever could. And she would have told you that whatever you’ve lost, you won’t find it up there.’ She stood. ‘I’ve said my piece, and I’ll take my leave.’
    Suddenly he couldn’t look at her.
    She said softly, ‘Oh, bright eyes.’
    And he turned, and she folded him in her arms.

5
    J OSHUA V ALIENTÉ, AND indeed Sister Agnes, were never far from the thoughts of Sister John, superior of the Home on Madison West 5, or her companions.
    Take the case of Jan Roderick, who both Agnes and Joshua had met. Ten years old, Jan was a conundrum to the Sisters and staff, even a source of frustration at times, so complicated was the knotted-up personality contained within that small body. Sister John could do nothing but advise patience: what use were nuns and counsellors and teachers if they couldn’t show patience at least?
    Sister John herself had never found it terribly hard to stay calm around Jan. She didn’t pride herself on any special qualities of character, however. It was just that Jan, a slim, dark boy, reminded her in so many ways of Joshua.
    The thing with Joshua was that he had always seemed so mundane. His hobbies as a boy in the Home, before Step Day, had been solitary trekking, and exploring the reconstructed prairie in Madison’s Arboretum, and back at the Home making ham radio gear and assembling models – in fact, repairing incomplete or broken models, and that gave you a clue as to the kind of personality Joshua had harboured under that dark mop of hair.
    Then, after Step Day, Joshua had become something of a local celebrity for his calm competence that first bewildering night, when the doors of the stepwise worlds had suddenly swung open, and everybody else had freaked, including most adults.
    Sister John had never forgotten what Joshua had done for her that night. She had had utterly no idea what had happened to her: I never stepped into no wardrobe . . . Sarah Ann Coates, as she was known then, had already survived nightmares, which was why she had ended up in the Home on Allied Drive in the first place. And there, blundering around in a darkened stepwise forest, she had felt as if all those nightmares had come back for her once more. Hands reaching