The Koala of Death Read Online Free PDF

left, she was looking pretty happy.”
    “Doris always looks happy.”
    “That’s what you think.”
    Before I could ask what she meant, she said, “That dog collar you promised?”
    “Coming right up.” I hurried below deck and snatched the collar out of a galley drawer.
    Linda received it gratefully, and fastened it around her dog’s neck. “Well, kid, I gotta take Hans back to the Tea 4 Two . Have a nice day at the zoo, and don’t let the bears eat you.”
    ***
    Zorah had informed me that she’d split my morning duties between two other keepers, so an hour later, when I clocked in, I looked camera-ready in my freshly ironed uniform. The koala, wombat, wallaby, and numbat were dozing peacefully on top of burlap sacks in their respective carriers inside the Animal Care Center, but I saw no sign of the two assistants I’d been promised.
    “I can’t handle all these animals by myself,” I complained to Dr. Francks, our new vet. A rather snappish man with a wild beard and hair that made him resemble Rasputin, he’d emerged from retirement when one of our other vets decamped with her family to the San Diego Zoo.
    He looked up from the anesthetized Bengal tiger whose fangs he was cleaning. “Zorah called a couple of minutes ago, said someone’s on the way.”
    “Some one ?”
    He gestured toward the small cages by the door. “I don’t think you’re in any danger from those guys. Are you afraid the koala will fall asleep on your face and smother you? Or that the wombat will scratch your eyes out? If you’re all that nervous, maybe you should transfer to the children’s zoo where you could work with the sheep.” At that, the vet techs helping him giggled until he silenced them with a growl worthy of the Bengal.
    Thus squelched, I held my silence while my mind rehearsed the logistics of lugging around four different cages, and the prospect of keeping all the animals calm during the show. Having only one assistant would be stretching it, but an experienced animal keeper should be able to handle the job. Maybe Zorah was lending me Bill. His mouth might not be ready for prime time, but it didn’t bother the Down Under animals.
    My hopes were dashed when five minutes later, Bernice Unser, the Monkey Mania volunteer, walked through the door. She must have seen the disappointment on my face because she said, “Sorry, but there was some kind of scheduling snafu this morning and Zorah asked me to help out.”
    It could have been worse. Although no actual animal keeper, most of whom had master’s degrees in the biological sciences, Bernice had completed several of the zoo’s Small Animal Care classes and knew which end was the biting end. She was also strong, which would help with the lugging.
    “Any experience in Down Under?” I asked her.
    “Six months, before I transferred to Monkey Mania. That’s when I learned that most marsupials sleep all day. Since I can only volunteer in the mornings, I wanted to spend that time with animals who are actually awake.”
    She smiled. I smiled back. The situation wasn’t perfect, but it would have to do.
    ***
    Thirty minutes later, while Bernice and I waited with the drowsy marsupials in the Green Room at KTSS-TV, Suzi Lovejoy, the assistant producer of Good Morning, San Sebastian , a harassed-looking young woman who seemed little more than a teenager, peered into the cages.
    “Are they dead?”
    “Just sleeping,” I explained.
    Frowning, Suzi explained the segment’s logistics. Gesturing toward Bernice with an ink-stained finger, she said, “Bess here will…”
    “My name is Bernice .”
    “Yeah. Bess will stay out of camera range and keep the animals in their cages until the zookeeper…”
    “Call me Teddy.”
    “Right. Until you say you’re ready for another one. Then Bess will take out the animal and pass it to you. I don’t want Bess to say anything ’cause you, whatsyournameagain, should do most of the talking at least when…”
    “Teddy.”
    “Uh