the Kirk is aware of it.’
There was a short silence. Then Nicholas said hazily, ‘Rose-petals and banners, cheering crowds and hosts of pretty girls … fountains flowing with wine --’
‘In Scotland ?’ murmured Ashley.
‘True,’ said the King. ‘But it’s a good idea for all that. Popularity is important.’ He paused, his face creasing in a tipsy, sardonic smile. ‘Not that I’m ever going to be popular with the Kirk unless I repent being born.’
‘Long-nosed canting miseries,’ grumbled Sandy Fraizer into his glass. ‘They fair give me the marthambles.’
‘Me too.’ Lurching to his feet, Buckingham grabbed a bottle and collapsed back into his seat with it. ‘Whole bloody country givesh me the marthambles.’
‘And Cromwell,’ pronounced Nicholas. ‘Let’s not forget Old Noll. Lucky Noll, warty Noll, Noll the nose.’ And sang, ‘ Nose, nose, nose, nose – who gave thee that jolly red nose ?’
And with enthusiastic if imperfect unison, his companions responded, ‘ Cinnamon and ginger, nutmeg and cloves – that’s what gave thee that jolly red nose! ’
One song led to another. Sir Nicholas climbed uncertainly on his chair and conducted the ensemble with a poker. Dr Fraizer beat time on the log-box, the King used a pair of pewter plates as cymbals and his Grace of Buckingham, slightly green about the gills, participated with a series of violent hiccups.
Then the door burst open and Jem Barker flew backwards into the room on the end of someone’s fist.
Nicholas fell off his perch.
In the doorway, three men-at-arms made way for the stern-faced Moderator of the General Assembly and a pair of horrified ministers.
‘Shit,’ burped Buckingham. And threw up in the hearth.
Silence engulfed the room and Ashley stared rather desperately at Francis.
‘Oh dear,’ he said mildly. ‘Sackcloth and ashes all round, I think.’
And gave way to helpless laughter.
~ * * ~ * * ~
TWO
Although it necessitated a good deal of grovelling, the affair at the Fish Inn did not become common knowledge and Charles, having written to ascertain his mother’s views on a possible union with Lady Anne Campbell, wisely set off on an immediate tour of north-eastern Scotland. Unsurprisingly, Major Francis Langley and Sir Nicholas Austin were not amongst those permitted to accompany him – which meant that they had the pleasure of watching the second Duke of Hamilton’s return to Court occasion Argyll’s sulky withdrawal from it. And around the end of the month, Colonel Peverell disappeared again on undisclosed business.
He went to Ireland first to see if things were really as bad as people said. They were. Thousands starved on a land devastated by war; and while Irish Royalists and Irish patriots continued to exist in mutual distrust, Commissary-General Ireton extended his grip on everything outside the mountains and the bogs.
Disguised as a peat-cutter in clothes that itched, Ashley evaluated what he saw. And when both stealth and his assumed persona failed him, he despatched the problem in the usual unpleasant but extremely final way and put it from his mind. It wasn’t the first time and it probably wouldn’t be the last but it was sometimes necessary. He just preferred not to keep count.
He spent five days trying to talk sense into a clutch of O’Neils; and then, aware that he was wasting his time and wanting a bath more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life, he took ship for The Hague.
The crossing in a filthy, leaking tub was a bad one and the news at the other end no better. Ashley had known that William of Orange’s stubborn, solitary opposition to the Commonwealth had died with him. What he hadn’t known was that the Prince’s death had also allowed Holland to take the lead amongst the United Provinces, with the result that negotiations were even now taking place with Westminster. In