The Judgement of Strangers Read Online Free PDF

demanded too much effort. I had slept badly, with dreams that hovered near the frontier of nightmare but did not actually cross it. One of them had been set in a version of Rosington, where Rosemary and I had lived before we came to Roth – when my wife Janet was still alive. I had not dreamed of Rosington for years. Vanessa had unsettled me, breached the defences I had built up so laboriously. (And I had been all too willing to have them breached.)
    Audrey’s visit reminded me that I still had the problem of contacting Vanessa. I should have phoned her, as arranged, the previous evening, but I had spent much longer in the church than I had intended. By the time I had returned to the Vicarage the last thing I had wanted to do was talk to anyone, let alone Vanessa. I had persuaded myself without much trouble that it was too late to phone.
    On the other hand, I could not run away from Vanessa for ever, or at least not until I had sorted out the business of Audrey’s wretched book. I did not want to phone her at the office, however, because that would mean having to run the gauntlet of Cynthia. I remembered that Cynthia worked only in the mornings. In that case, I thought, I would phone Vanessa this afternoon.
    Now that I had made the decision, I felt slightly happier. I returned to the accounts I had abandoned the previous evening. But I had not got very far when there was another ring at the doorbell. I swore under my breath as I went into the hall. I opened the door. There was Vanessa herself.
    I stared at her, fighting a rising tide of disbelief. She was wearing her dark suit and she had the envelope containing Audrey’s typescript clamped to her chest.
    ‘Hello, David.’
    ‘Vanessa – do come in.’
    ‘I’m not interrupting anything, am I?’
    ‘Only the accounts. And I was about to make some coffee, in any case. But I hope you haven’t come all this way to bring me back the book?’
    She shook her head. ‘I had to visit a bookshop in Staines this morning. I’m on my way back.’
    She followed me into the hall, and I led her through to the sitting room.
    ‘I’m sorry I didn’t phone yesterday evening.’
    ‘That’s all right.’ She looked out of the window, not at me. ‘I didn’t expect you to phone me back so late.’
    ‘I’m sorry?’
    She turned from the window and looked at me. ‘Didn’t you get my message?’
    ‘What message?’
    ‘I phoned last night. I had another phone call, and I – I thought you might not have been able to get through. I left a message saying I’d phoned.’
    ‘I didn’t receive it.’ I thought of Rosemary waiting for me in the porch of the church. ‘You must have spoken to my daughter. I expect it slipped her mind.’
    She smiled. ‘Young people have more important things to think about than relaying phone messages.’
    ‘Yes.’ I did not know what to say next. I knew I should make the coffee, but I did not want to leave Vanessa. I cleared my throat. ‘I saw Cynthia yesterday afternoon. She brought those things round for Rosemary.’
    ‘I know. She told me … I think she may have misled you about something.’
    I stared at her. We were still standing in the middle of the room.
    Vanessa picked at a piece of fluff on her sleeve. ‘I believe she gave you to understand that Ronnie and I are engaged.’
    I nodded.
    ‘Well, that’s not true. Not exactly.’
    I patted the pockets of my jacket, looking for the cigarettes I had left in the study. ‘There’s no need to tell me this. It’s none of my business.’
    ‘Cynthia and Ronnie were very good to me when Charles died.’
    ‘I’m sure they were.’
    ‘You don’t understand. When something like that happens you feel empty. And you can become very dependent on those who help you. Emotionally, I mean.’
    ‘I do understand,’ I said. ‘Only too well.’
    ‘I’m sorry.’ She bit her lip. ‘Ronnie told me about your wife.’
    ‘It’s all right. It was a long time ago.’
    ‘One gets so wrapped up