said 11:34. My class has Early Lunch. I headed for the cafeteria.
9 • Voice Tricks
S ure enough, Hubert was sitting at Table Six with Charley and Josh. His plate wasnearly empty, and he was stirring leftover tortellini with his fork in a definite “I’m finished” motion.
I stood beside the disposal chute, anticipating his next move. As he tipped the plate, I gently grabbed his wrist. He screamed. I mean, a boy scream. More like a squawk. Everyone in the cafeteria stopped moving to look at Hubert, just as he figured out it was me.
“Ooops!” he said with a silly laugh. “I thought I saw a dead rat in the chute.”
“Ooooooh gross!” the chorus jeered.
Hubert yanked his arm away from me and scraped his plate. He stomped up the stairs.
“I’m sorry, Hubert.” I tried to pat his shoulder, but he was going too fast.
“Hubert, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
He stopped short and I crashed into him.
“You didn’t scare me. You just made everybody look at me.” His voice was tight. “And where have you been, anyway? You said an hour, Billie, and it’s been over two!”
“Did you get my pack?”
“Well, I know where it is, anyway,” he muttered. “Alyssa said she’s not giving it back unless she gives it to you, and she says you owe her for not snitching that you’re skipping school, and she says when your mom gets back after lunch you are going to be dead meat.”
He didn’t even try to look at me. He was staring at the floor like it was hard to keep talking.
“Hubert—”
“Shhh!”
Noise behind me in the stairwell signaled kids coming up from the cafeteria. Hubert bent over to tie his shoelace as an excuse for standing there like a goof. We waited for half the third grade to go by, with me crushed against the railing and Hubert retying his lace about four times. It gave me time to think.
“Okay, Hubert, I’ve got a new plan. I just have to figure out where to do it.”
“What’s your idea, Billie? Not anything stupid, I hope, because I’m not really having fun today, even if you are. And where were you, anyway?”
“Oh, Hubert, so much happened. I’ll tell you later, but right now, we have to do something. Come on.” I put my fingers around his wrist, as gently as I could, and led him to the main hall.
Our timing was perfect. My mother was shepherding the second-graders through the front doors. I felt a little rush of happiness to see her. She’s not exactly pretty, but she does have a nice smile. It makes her eyes crinkle up and look shiny.
“We have to make her hear me, Hubert, even though she doesn’t see me. If she hears my voice, she’ll think I’m here.”
The bell rang for the afternoon classes.
All the kids in my mother’s group were heading up the stairs to their room. The library is in the basement, next to the cafeteria, so I figured she would be heading downstairs.
I put my lips right next to Hubert’s ear, like a mosquito.
“As soon as she moves, start calling to me.”
My mother turned toward the library stairs without glancing our way.
“Hey, Billie, wait up!” cried Hubert, in a ridiculous voice.
“You can’t catch me, Hubert!” I called, as if I’d ducked around the corner. “You’ll be late, Hubert, you better hurry!”
“Hubert!” My mother scolded as she turned around. “Tell that daughter of mine to calm down. You both know better than to shout in the hallways.”
“Yes, ma’am,” said Hubert eagerly. He was so proud of our performance.
I followed him to class. I had to get my backpack. We were a few minutes late. Ms. Maloney, the sub, already had everybody seated on the carpet for a meeting. Hubert squeezed in next to Sarah, and I stood by the door, leaning against the frame.
Ms. Maloney borrowed a Mets baseball cap from David C. to put in the middle of the rug. She had cut up a class list and now put all the slips of paper into the hat.
“Okay, kids,” she said, “Ms. McPhee asked me to do this today because she